This is the Place
by kdzl
Summary: Our favorite team is going undercover somewhere where they have never dared to set foot before-the Beehive state. Undercover fic. Time jump for the epilogue. COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

_**An/ Being a lover of Undercover stories, I decided that I'd indulge myself. This is sort of going to be an opportunity to write things in that I liked for "Appearances are Deceiving" and "The Retreat" but never got to use and some ideas that are trully unique to this story. **_**_I also decided to give you a little slice of my home by setting this story in Utah. If any part of the representation seems harsh, just know that I am a proud Utahan and this is all in fun. But don't be fooled, while it may be troubling, some of what you will see is true to life._**

**_I do not own Criminal Minds, but I love it nonetheless. _**

**_ENJOY!_**

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* * *

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Washington DC

"JJ, you're so lucky." Her Aunt Clara said. "Your ring is lovely."

"Thanks, I like it." She smiled, unconsciously looking down to see the round diamond and silver band. The ring felt heavy and almost out of place but she didn't say anything. She always assumed that her engagement ring would be a natural progression, but really, it just felt like JJ was playing pretend. Like she was pretending to be engaged while everyone played along.

"Sweetheart, we are all just so happy for you." Her grandmother fussed. "William is such a nice man."

"Thanks." She laughed, unsure of what to say. Will was indeed a nice man, that wasn't up for debate. The question lay more in whether she was nice enough to deserve him. She smiled and waved at her boyfriend—fiance—she had to remind herself who was talking to her brother.

Will was perfect in every way. Her family loved him, he was a good person who used good manners. He never left the toilet seat up, he rarely swore and while she initially had worried about his drinking habits, she soon found there was nothing to fear. Will was perfect.

"JJ, aren't you so excited?" Garcia squealed as she came and crushed her best friend into a hug.

"I couldn't be happier." JJ smiled, feeling as though she was lying. But she was happy, she had to be. This was what she everything she had ever wanted. Getting what you want was supposed to bring bliss. She mindlessly smoothed out the skirt of her cream dress, trying to appear as though she was perfect. That was how it was supposed to be, Will was perfect so she needed to be as well. "Where's everyone else?" She scanned the room for the familiar faces of her team, but saw none other than her close friend.

Garcia bit her lip worriedly. "There was a case."

"What kind of a case?" JJ inquired urgently.

"Strauss's niece and her husband were murdered last night and by the looks of it, its serial." Garcia explained calmly. "Hotch is briefing the team now, they sent me with their best wishes."

"But why didn't they call me?" JJ asked with a pang in her heart.

"Sweetie, its your engagement party." Garcia reminded, rolling her eyes slightly. This was typical JJ. "Hotch wasn't about to ask you to leave your engagement party for a case."

"When are they going?"

"The plane left about two hours ago." Garcia informed, instantly catching the glint in JJ's eye. "No you don't."

"What?" JJ asked innocently.

"You are not going." Garcia commanded. "It's your engagement party; you need to stay for the entire thing."

"What if they need me?" JJ defended.

"If you go, I'm not watching Henry." Garcia groaned. "I refuse to enable you my insane, blonde, little friend."

"He's already going to go spend the night with my sister." JJ reasoned.

"I'm sure Will would love this." Garcia muttered under her breath.

"Love what?" A voice said from behind, startling the two women.

"Erm…" JJ stammered.

"What would I love?" Will asked again, standing next to JJ. "Here it's our party and I swear I haven't been near you all night." He kissed her tenderly, an action that didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the room who sighed in delight.

"Nothing." Garcia lied though she made no attempt to be believable. "I was just telling her a joke and she gave this weird laugh and I was attempting to mock her." Her eyes remained level and stern. Penelope Garcia was rarely serious, but this was one of those times. JJ knew that any hopes of her going to help the team were now cancelled.

_Bountiful, Utah_

"The laceration patterns on all twelve victims are the same." The local coroner informed. "It was presumably done by the same knife; it has the same smooth lines."

"Any evidence of sexual assault?" Emily asked, uncharacteristically disgusted at the sight of what this monster had done.

"There were traces of semen found on his female victims." He took in a deep gulp of air, trying to diffuse the anger within himself. "Like the mutilation to the bodies, it was done post mortem."

Emily grimaced. While necrophilia was just part of the assortment of wretched things unsubs subjected their victims to, she found it to be the most demeaning. "How long after?"

"I'd say almost immeaditaly after he struck the final blow that snuffed these poor women's lives, he had his way with them. Then about four days later, he distorted the body."

"What about the autopsies of the husbands?" Emily inquired, doing her job though she didn't feel like it. She hated killers like this, killers who murdered happy couples and then left her to figure out to catch him. If Emily ever crossed into vigilante, this or a case involving a child would be the kind to do it.

"Your guy seemed fairly uninterested in the spouse." The corner stated. "Shot the husband to death and didn't even move the body post mortem, there are other things I could check but I would have to send it to Salt Lake because we don't have the equipment here."

"Not enough funding?" Emily asked.

"The last notable serial killer that spent any considerable amount of time here was Bundy." The coroner defended. "When you have three true, premeditated murders a year, it isn't in the county's budget to pay for items that wouldn't be used."

Emily nodded in understanding; she had been to enough communities like this to understand. This was a place where no one thought anything bad would happen and now—now the unthinkable was a reality. "Let me know if you find anything else."

As she walked out of the office, she saw a familiar figure coming towards her.

"Prentiss, do you know where the chief is?" JJ asked, catching her breath. "I need---"

"JJ." Emily scolded. "Engagement party?"

"What about it?" JJ asked innocently.

"We left you in DC so that you could celebrate and work from the unit." Emily muttered exasperated. "Not so that you could skip out on the rest of a party held in your honor so that you could catch the red eye."

"I didn't skip out." JJ countered to a disbelieving Emily. Cracking slightly, she smiled tentatively. "Will said I could."

"Of course he did." Emily said, shaking her head chuckling. Only Will La Montagne would encourage his fiancée to fulfill her work responsibilities on the eve of their engagement party.

"So where is the chief of police?" JJ asked hopefully.

"No you don't. You talk to Hotch first." Emily said, pointing to the conference room at the side of the hall. "He needs to know that he is rubbing off on you."

JJ smirked to herself, if anything, Hotch would be proud of her for coming. While everyone else tolerated the lie that personal lives came first, he knew the truth as she did, be in the BAU long enough and soon, there was no such thing as a personal life.

She opened the door as she heard a screech that she expected.

"JJ, seriously, you came?" Reid shouted. He was part of the Garcia, Emily school of logic, where JJ was expected to be the perfect wife to Will, though she rarely felt like it. In the end, the entire team had contrasting views as to JJ's purpose in life. Rossi, Morgan and Hotch were shocked that JJ would say yes to getting married, assuming that she was, like them, incapable of doing both, and the job should come first. JJ, for her part, didn't know what she wanted.

"About time you came." Morgan proclaimed. To him, there had never been any doubt whether JJ would make it to Utah. It was job and no one was immune for the longing for a decent case. "How was the party?"

"You mean, the party that JJ left?" Emily shouted from behind.

"JJ." Reid rolled his eyes. It had taken forever for the team to find someone willing to marry JJ, and now she was going to screw it up. She was the prettiest girl he knew, and he, like Emily and Garcia, wanted her to be happy. Why she would constantly mess things up with Will, he would never know.

"What took you so long?" Hotch asked as he walked into the room.

"I had to find a flight." JJ beamed in triumph at Emily.

"How was the party?" Rossi muttered half-heartedly, he was happy for his colleague, but he just didn't know if this was all such a good idea.

"Grahg." Emily grunted in annoyance. All of the men enabled JJ's stupidity; it was not her job to. "Are serious?"

"What do we have here?" JJ asked, ignoring Emily's wrath. It was her relationship, Emily and Garcia needed to butt out.

"There's an unsub murdering couples. The wife is a teacher and the husband is a cop." Reid began.

"We're up to 12 couples." Emily continued. "He kills the women almost instantly, then rapes and mutilates them post mortem."

"Shoots the husband in the head once. Time of death consistently points to him taking out the husband first."

"Any similarities in the couples?" Morgan asked, looking over to Reid.

"All were beginning their second marriages and all had one or two children from their divorce." Reid stated. "But none had full custody. Also, none were originally from Utah, most of them moved within the last ten years. "

"That's a very specific type." Emily noted.

"Not really, the unsub kills victims of all races." Rossi said, looking over the file. "So it would be more important to him to kill victims in the right age range and gender rather than race."

"A killer without a racial preference? They have those?" Reid scoffed. "Besides, while one victim was Polynesian, the majority of the victims were white."

"This is Utah." Emily laughed. "Is that really all that surprising?"

"All joking aside, this unsub doesn't really have a specific type of victim. Its more the idea of the victim than the actual characteristics of the person. Like he has an urge to kill that he is trying to focus, but he still murders indiscriminately." Hotch said before his phone began to ring wildly. "Excuse me."

As he stepped out, he checked the caller ID once, seeing that it was Erin Strauss. She was close to the case, and normally he wouldn't listen to a grieving person, but his gut told him to answer the call. "Hotchner."

"Your team is going undercover." She said shortly, not offering much of an explanation.

"Excuse me?" Hotch stated, wondering what the normally bitter section chief meant.

"You and your team are going undercover. No longer than three months, but I foresee it being a rather intense." She informed in her no nonsense tone.

"But this is a murder investigation." Hotch reminded deftly.

"I know that Agent Hotchner, but this order comes from Brass. So far, there have been connections made that this is serial and he'll be hard to catch with the lack of physical evidence tying him to any one of the crimes. If it weren't for his MO, we wouldn't know he existed."

"But we can catch him with a profile." Hotch muttered, not knowing how he was going to manage to get out of this one.

"By the time you establish a profile, it could be years as he has left very little to go on." Strauss demanded. "This is not a request. You will be going undercover, I expect you to alert your team immediately."

"Strauss." Hotch tried to reason but was cut off by the sharp click of the reciever.

Rubbing his eyes, he walked into the conference room, his entire team's eyes wide with wonder.

"What?" Emily asked, being the first to vocalize her curiosity.

"You may want to call your loved ones. We may be here longer than we originally thought." He informed, cursing the day he ever walked into the BAU.

* * *

**_An2/ I really hope you liked it, but the best is yet to come. Be sure to drop me a review or a PM so that I can gauge the reaction to this. I really do love knowing what you think of my stories._**


	2. Chapter 2

**_An/Enjoy!_**

* * *

"What do you mean by a while?" Morgan asked loadedly, not believing what he was about to hear.

"The order just came from Strauss--" Hotch began, knowing that his team was intelligent enough to have already begun piecing this disaster together.

"We can catch him with a profile." Emily maintained, catching on to the bugging eyes that had swept over the faces of Morgan, Reid, and Rossi. "Why would they want us to do anything differently?"

"This is Strauss's niece's murderer." Reid said, answering though the question had been rhetorical. "It only makes sense that she would have more of a vested intrest in this case."

"We all have a vested interest to get this case closed as quickly as possible. However, she--" Rossi began to rant.

"Dave." Hotch interrupted shortly. "There's nothing we can do. Obviously we can individually refuse the assignment, but that would mean immediate removal from the BAU. Our unit has been ordered undercover. We don't have any other options."

"I'm going to have to call Will." JJ choked out, knowing that there was no way that she could forgive herself if she left the BAU. The FBI was home before JJ knew what the term meant, she wouldn't lose the BAU. With that said, she had a feeling that Will was not going to be very happy about this.

* * *

JJ dialed a familiar number, dreading the conversation she was about to have.

"Hey JJ, what's up?" Will asked, instantly knowing it was her without even looking at the caller ID. He was starting to get a sixth sense for this type of thing, he knew JJ was going to call before she knew it herself. The question was why JJ was calling, especially after she snuck out of the party.

"Sweetie." She began timidly, unsure of how to proceed, this was all foriegn territory for her. She knew he was going to be disappointed, but she couldn't fix that.

"What do you want?" Will was begining to panic.

"What do you mean 'what do I want'?" JJ laughed teasingly, trying to avoid the painful for as long as possible. "Can't I just call you that because I love you?"

"JJ, do you or do you not want something at this moment?" Will pressed, as he picked up a squirming Henry.

"Well, I do want something but its more the principle of the thing." She said softly, knowing the scoffing laugh in the background was meant for her. "Hey, it was just a thought."

"Seriously honey, what do you want?" The thick southern accent asked again, not knowing what his beautiful fiancee had in store for him.

"You know how you told me that I work to much?" JJ said, catching will off guard.

"Yes."

"Well, its going to get worse." She warned. "I've been _invited--_or well, ordered-- to join an undercover operation here in Utah."

"What do you mean ordered?" Will groaned. "Sweetheart, they can't make you do something you don't want to."

"If I don't go, I'm going to be transfered..."

"Then take the transfer!" Will bellowed, isntantly rembereing himself. He wasn't the type to shout at his love, this was just a unique experiance for him and JJ to be going through at the moment when they were planning a wedding. "Maybe its a blessing in disguise."

"Don't say that." JJ said firmly, not going to shake on her solid ground. "I've told you from the start, it was either me and the BAU or nothing. You knew going into this that I wasn't going to give up the BAU..."

_"If I had known to the extent you demand to stay with the BAU, maybe I would have thought twice."_ Will thought to himself. "Sweetie, there isn't alcohol in Utah, how are you going to live?"

"A- there is too alcohol in Utah and b--I don't even drink that much." JJ defended.

"So undercover, level with me, what would we have to do?" He began, trying to be supportive.

"_We _wouldn't be doing anything." JJ said softly, knowing how terrible it was going to sound. "You'd be in DC and I'd be here in Bountiful. There wouldn't be a 'we' for three months."

"Seriously JJ?" Will scoffed angrily. "Fine. You win."

"Will, don't be like that. Its only three months and I would be back before you'd even miss me..."

"Call me crazy but I don't exactly love it when my fiancee jets off to some state in the midwest so that she can do a job and abandon our---"

"Utah isn't in the midwest." JJ offered, knowing it wouldn't help any. "I love you Will, but this is something I have to do. I know you think I'm being selfish but..."

"Alright. Do what you have to." He whispered, knowing that he would give JJ anything she wanted. "But you have to barter with me."

"What do you want?" JJ asked, surprised that he was even contemplating the option. She thought that he would have shut her up after the first sentence.

"We get married right after you get home." He said firmly.

"Huh?"

"JJ, I love you more than I love my own life, but if I'm letting you go, I want you right when you get back. And I don't want to share anymore."

JJ nodded quietly, silencing the sounds of dread rising within her. "But a wedding is a lot to plan---"

"But I've got your mom and your sister on my side. We've got it under control." He assured her. "So what do you say?"

"Deal." JJ said, though she felt slightly that she was selling her soul. But she knew that marrying Will was what she was supposed to want, so she agreed though it didn't necesarrily feel right.

* * *

"So its time we establish our cover." Hotch informed agitatedly the next morning. He knew that they were needed for this undercover assignment, but that didn't make it any less painful. He was going to be spending three months away from his son.

"I'll go first." Morgan offered, picking up his file and reading it through. "My name is Joshua Montgomery . I'm a Texas native who moved to Utah after college to take advantage of the affirmative action policies. I've lived in Utah for over ten years and I've worked with Bountiful PD for the last three months. Before that I worked in Farmington, West Valley and Tooele."

"Its pronounced 'Too-ill-ah', not 'Too-lee'." Reid corrected his friend immediately.

"Dude, how is it said like that? Its against the basic rules of the English language." Morgan murmured angrily.

"Its after the local native American tribe, the Ute Indians which the state of Utah is named after for 'tumble weed'…" Reid began to explain.

"Spence, stop please." JJ commanded with feigned sweetness. She loved her friend, but if she had to hear him go on about the controversy over the naming of Utah one more time, she might have to runaway. "Go on Morgan."

"Like I was saying, I'm working for the Bountiful Police department. I was single up until two months ago when I married my wife Natalie…"

"Wait?" JJ interrupted, laughing derisively. "I am married to Morgan? You're kidding me. Please tell me you're kidding."

"I assure you JJ, we are taking this very seriously." Hotch said as he quirked his eyebrow.

"What is wrong with being married to me?" Morgan asked, slightly offended. "I'm attractive, I'm financially independent and I can cook."

"And those will protect me from your wandering eye how?" JJ countered.

"We're not actually going to be married." Morgan retorted. "Its not like—"

"Both of you, cut it out." Rossi demanded. "Morgan, go."

"I'm married to my wife Natalie who I met at a Jazz vs Magic game where I went to see a game on the road." Morgan stated. "Seriously, who watches the Jazz?"

"People from Utah." JJ said before launching into her own character. "My name is Natalie Montgomery, I'm from Fort Lauderdale, Florida but moved to Utah to be closer to my now husband. I teach PE and Communications at Woods Cross High school. I married my husband Joshua a few months ago and I have a small son named Henry who lives with my ex back in Florida because that's where all of our family lives. We live in Bountiful but have been thinking of moving down to Sandy for more career opportunities."

She looked over to Emily, indicating that it was her turn. "I'm Leah Albright, and I was born in Trenton, New Jersey, but I was an army brat so I spent a lot of time overseas. I moved Boston after a huge break up where I met my fiancee Carson Daniels at a coffee shop. We moved to Utah after my parents died so that we could be closer to my brother, who is my only remaining family. I teach French, Spanish and German at Bountiful High school. We are getting married soon, but we live together which is quite the local scandal."

"I'm Carson Daniels, I work with Bountiful PD as a prosecuter." He began. "I've got a son back in Boston, but because of a rigid custody agreement, I don't see him often."

"We're married?" Emily spewed, unsure of whether this was a dream or a nightmare.

Reid, not wanting contention, immediatly went into his story. "I'm Patrick Albright, I'm Leah's only brother. I moved to Utah three years ago to teach Math and Physics. I like it here, though I'm thinking of leaving because the pay cuts that Utah is recieveing. I teach at Woodscross..." He sputtered off, looking straight at Hotch. "Wait, am I actually going to have to teach?"

"Arrangements have been made due to loopholes in Utah teaching laws that you can teach for the duration of this assignment." Hotch informed, still reeling from the 'We're married?' comment that disgusted Emily.

"We're going to teach?" Emily cackled, sure that this wasn't going to get any worse. She was stuck in a Red State, with no hard liqour, married to Hotch, having to teach a bunch of high school students. She suddenly wondered how karma had turned on her so. "Rossi you're up, I've got nothing to say to that."

"I'm Logan Fillipelli, I'm a retired police chief for Chicago, but now I volunteer in Bountiful because I moved here to be near my daughter. However, she no longer wants to see me, so I'm stuck chasing my glory days." Rossi read. "Seriously, who came up with all of this?"

"Garcia." Reid mouthed, not knowing how this happened. He was actually going to have to teach a bunch of high school kids. This was not going to be good.

* * *

**_AN/ I know what you must be thinking. "KDZL, how are JJ and Hotch, AND Emily and Morgan supposed to get together if you have them mixed up in their little couplehood?" Well friends, there is method to my madness, and while Emily/Hotch will pretend to be married, at the end of the day, have faith in my commitment to my JJ/Hotch shipping._**


	3. Chapter 3

**_An/ Enjoy._**

* * *

"Hey wifie." Morgan teased as he and JJ unpacked the moving van. "What are you going to make me for lunch?"

"Oh my." JJ said, rolling her eyes. "I can already tell you that this is going to be a long three months."

"Please Mrs. Montgomery." Morgan taunted suggestively as he carried a large box labeled _Books_. "I know that I can make this worth your while."

"Please, _Sweetie..._" JJ countered grabbing a lamp from the large moving van. "With an attitude like that, you're going to be sleeping on the couch for three months."

"Give me the shut out? That's cold Baby Girl." Morgan laughed, fully realizing that he was going to be cohabiting with a lively one for the next few months.

"Don't let your girlfriend here you say that." JJ whispered wickedly, opening the door to their small, yellow house for the first time. She took a good look at it, soaking in every detail. This was easily a place she could live. It was Morgan who was going to make this difficult. Deep down, _very _deep down, JJ was grateful that while she was in this predicament, she at least got to bond with one of her more entertaining coworkers. That however, didn't stop her from wanting to bash his head in.

"What Garcia doesn't know can't get her computer wires in a twist." Morgan chuckled, brushing off JJ's deviousness.

"Be careful." JJ warned in a sing-song voice, then added in a hushed whisper "she's listening."

Morgan shuddered involuntarily as JJ let out a small cackle.

"Do you really think she's listening?" Morgan asked his tough, macho tone. The tone he only used when he was worried.

"I wouldn't put it past her." JJ smiled, realizing that this might not be so bad after all.

* * *

"Lets just get this over with." Emily mumbled as she stood aimlessly in an aisle of Bed, Bath, and Beyond. She aimed the register gun, and pretended to shoot it as though she was in a western film."There is no fun like that of registering for your fake wedding."

"How are we supposed to keep our cover if you tell everyone its a fake wedding?" Hotch whispered in her ear, gently trying to nudge the gun on of her hand. Emily with any form of a fire arm scared him, even if it didn't shoot bullets.

"Ooo, look at it." Emily said, stopping in front of a small, golden statue. "That could be cool."

"Its a pig." Hotch said, his eyebrow quirked questioningly.

"Its awesome." Emily corrected, trying to take back the register gun from her 'fiance'. "Come on."

"What is the functionality of a golden pig?" Hotch countered gruffly, holding the gun closer to him to keep it out of her reach.

"Its art." Emily shrugged, doing her best defensive basketball impression in order to get the gun in her capable hands. She could tell already that Hotch must have no taste for the luxury.

"Its _strange_." Hotch said delicately, retaining his death grip on the previously harmless piece of machinery.

"Please, come on." She begged, giving him her best puppy dog look. He however, grew resilient and did not give into her pouting.

"Its not going to work." He insisted firmly, walking over to the kitchenware section. "Besides, who would buy you a golden pig for a wedding?"

"Garcia comes to mind." Emily answered truthfully, trying to swat the gun down as he held it over her head. "Why isn't my pathetic, pleading face going to work for you? Huh? It works for JJ."

"It does not." Hotch retorted lamely as Emily let out an expectant sigh. "It really doesn't."

"And that's how we ended up taking that case in Colorado Springs that had a whopping one potential victim." Emily muttered under her breath as Hotch stopped right in front of the dishes. She suddenly grew very excited, plates were something they definitely needed, and he really couldn't say no to. At this point, the only thing they had managed to agree on was a set of bathtowels that were beige. Emily wanted them because they could give a neutral spin on a funky, contemporary decor while Hotch liked them because they were the first thing Emily had looked at that didn't make him feel like taking an Aspirin.

"What about these?" He said hopefully, holding a white, basic plate.

"Those are kind of boring." Emily said, still looking around. "We want something that makes a statement."

"These make a statement." Hotch retorted. "They say 'eat off of me.' What more are you looking for?" He tried to stop himself from rolling his eyes. At work, Emily was always moderately quiet and dressed fairly conservative. How was he supposed to know that when it came down to it, she was almost as bad as Garcia?

"Those have no..." Emily began, searching for the right word to make him understand. "_pow"_

"And we want 'pow', from plates?" Hotch questioned skeptically. He was trying to keep his derisive laughter to a minimum, but Emily was sorely tempting his patience.

"Glad you get the idea." Emily said mindlessly, still looking for the perfect dish set. Her eyes grew wide as she saw them, the perfect ones! Suddenly it was as though cherubims and joined into a the hallelujah chorus and guided her to her true love. "These are awesome!"

"They have pictures of fruit on them." Hotch scoffed as she picked one up to show him. "impressionist fruit."

"Its to highlight the irony of them." Emily said, not allowing her minor in Art Appreciation to go unnoticed.

"Plates can be ironic?" Hotch said, unsure of whether she was serious or just trying to punish him for making her go undercover. He held the register gun protectively, keeping it far out of her reach.

"Give it over honey." Emily said with a sweet smile.

"Leah." Hotch said, using Prentiss's cover name for the first time. "No."

"Carson." She retaliated. "Is this really the best way to start out a marriage? Come on, just give it."

"I can't in good conscience allow anyone to buy those plates." Hotch said, only partly joking. This was starting to frighten him quite a bit. He didn't know if he could actually live and breath for the next three months knowing that he was in eyesight of those plates.

"Seriously, you are so stubborn." Emily sputtered, a little irritated. "Hey look there, on the ceiling." She tried while he just stared at her.

"You really thought that was going to work?" He said sarcastically, folding his arms the same way her father used to.

"It was worth a shot." She said sheepishly. "You can't blame me for trying."

"I can already tell that I'm going to have my hands full with you." Hotch chuckled.

"Hands full? Well wait just a darn minute here, I'm not your responsibility." Emily said, feeling her independence being snatched from her. In her few days of 'marriage' she was suddenly realizing that maybe being single wasn't so bad after all. "And with the plates, since I get to play Holly Housewife, I'm going to be the one washing them!"

"Fine." Hotch said, rolling his eyes. "We can get those ugly plates..."

"The plates aren't ugly." Prentiss insisted, standing her ground firmly.

"Alright, the ironic, satirical plates if you will just agree to stop trying to register the pig." Hotch corrected, having seen how she kept eyeing the gun as though it could solve all of her problems. He remembered registering with Hailey, but that had seemed like a more joyous occasion while this...this was borderline painful.

"Fine." She conceeded. "But just you wait until we look at bed spreads."

Hotch, not being able to control it, shuddered slightly. _This is going to be a LONG three months._


	4. Chapter 4

**_An/ Standard disclaimer still applies. (Insert witty comment)_**

**_Enjoy! This probably is my favorite chapter of this story, and possibly any story I've written._**

* * *

"Are we seriously having a get to know you dinner with people we already know?" Morgan complained as he rummaged through the closet full of clothes issued by the FBI for this cover.

"It's the neighborhood barbecue, and would you stop complaining?" JJ asked, rolling her eyes. Walking into the bedroom she strode quickly over to the closet and picked out two options for Morgan to wear. Her cup of coffee occupying its permanent position, attached to her hand "How else are we supposed to get integrated into the community?"

"We could start by you not drinking so much coffee." He teased.

"Don't even start with me." JJ leveled a death glare at her faux husband. "And if you had a better idea, then I would be all for it."

"I'd say pretty much any idea is better than this." Morgan grumbled quickly, making sure JJ saw the smirk that softened the gruffness of his words.

"Well too bad, plus, look at it this way, it could be fun." She said, as though attempting to coax a small child.

"Really?" Morgan asked skeptically.

"Yeah, there'll be....people. And...stuff." She offered lamely.

"Oh, because that makes it better." Morgan scoffed.

"Well, all I'm saying is that we've got to be more convincing than Hotch and Emily." JJ pointed out as she quickly entered the bathroom to finish getting ready.

"Is that a dare?" Morgan asked quickly, mischievousness written across his face. Had JJ seen the look, she may have been worried.

"Oh, don't be such a baby. It is what it is. Besides, I'm fairly certain that _anyone _would believe that Hotch and Emily were a couple over us. We just have to make it believable." JJ insisted, smirking slightly. She could tell by the tone of his voice that Morgan had something planned up his sleeve, she just had no idea what.

* * *

It wouldn't be long before JJ discovered_ exactly_ what Morgan had planned. Once arriving at the neighborhood party, they quickly mingled and found that their new neighbors were very friendly, a little odd, but nice enough.

"Alright, this is our son McKay, and then this is Grant." A small thirty year old woman named Patty Buswell began, introducing her clan of young children to JJ. She pulled a tiny boy from behind her legs. "And this is Hunter. And Kimball must be some where over by the table, I'm not quite sure." She mused, searching for her son. "And then I have my two girls over there by Mrs. Sorenson, their names are Snow and Lee."

"You do realize that she has six kids in total, and the all seem under the age of ten." Morgan whispered to JJ who spewed her drink a little. "Its like they're a little factory."

"Shh." She whispered, still listening closely.

"Do you have any children?" Patty said, bouncing the young baby who they now knew was named Grant on her hip.

"I have a son but he lives back in Florida with his dad." JJ lied easily, though her heart panged for her son. This was going to be a long three months away from her baby boy. "But he's coming up soon."

"We'll have to have a play date!" The woman gushed excitedly. "Just tell me when and--"

"Oh, Honey, don't be so modest." Morgan interrupted, placing his arm protectively around her waist.

"Josh," JJ started warningly, unsure as to where Morgan was going with this, but certain that it did not have positive implications.

Turning towards the neighbor, Morgan ignored JJ's warning tone and smiled broadly, "Actually, she isn't telling you the whole truth. We just decided to try for another child." He stated winking slightly as JJ whipped towards him in surprise.

"Really?" The woman gawked.

"No--" JJ said firmly but was cut off by Morgan's excited sigh.

"She's really shy about it, but yes. We're just so excited to start our family together." Morgan said with feigned sweetness that only JJ seemed to be able to detect.

"Oh! I'm so happy for you!" Patty squealed, "I was going to offer you some coffee or a drink, but I'm sure that you wouldn't want that!"

"Well actually--" She began but Morgan beat her again.

"No, she wouldn't want any of that." Morgan shook his head, his voice entirely condescending. "We want baby to have the best chance at conception and lead researchers say that there's better chance at pregnancy without these things."

"Oh of course." Patty smiled elatedly and added. "I don't drink either...you know, just in case."

"We're all just going to have to make sure to keep all of that out of her hands." He winked at JJ, who was entirely speechless. If she had her wits about her, she would know how to best him, but this just left her standing there, mouth wide open. "We're going to want to keep the temptation away, you know, just in case--she can't resist."

"I will spread the word." Patty said before JJ could stop her. Turning around, she faced another new neighbor. "Suzanne, guess who's trying to have a baby?"

"You and Daniel again?" The woman--presumably named Suzanne gaped.

"No silly, our new neighbors, Joshua and Natalie." She sighed as the other neighbor smiled brightly.

"We aren't--" JJ tried to interrupt but felt a pair of strong arms surround her.

"We couldn't be happier." Morgan grinned, earning a swift elbow into the ribs.

* * *

"More Jello?" Emily asked skeptically as she and Hotch arrived at the party. She had never seen so much of the green lunch snack in her entire life. At first, she felt welcomed when someone came over with a 'jello salad' but after six bowls of it, it was starting to lose its charm. Although they knew the party started almost an hour earlier, Emily's constant procrastination led to a small argument with Hotch as the couple approached the neighboorhood barbecue.

"Utah is the Jello capital of the world." Reid quipped, accompanying the couple due to his cover as Emily's brother.

"It doesn't make this any less strange." Emily countered, eyeing it in slight disgust.

"And here I thought you could appreciate a good dish of green jello." Hotch teased, as she gave him a glare.

"I can for a dish, but when I'm surrounded, it loses noteriaty." She retorted as a neighbor came to greet them.

"Hi, you must be new here!" The woman ran over excitedly, grasping Emily into a hug.

For Emily's part, she just looked over her shoulder, eyes begging for someone to save her. She had never really been good at the small town, get together-y talk that she now found herself immersed in.

"I'm Patty Buswell." The woman announced, extending her hand out to Hotch who shook it firmly. Reid however, took the hand gingerly, afraid that it was going to bite. "And you are?"

"Hi, I'm Leah Albright and this is my brother Patrick." Emily began, tilting her head toward Reid. "And this is my fiance Carson, we just moved down the street."

"And you aren't married?" The woman said softly before recovering her composure. "Oh well, its really a pleasure to meet you. So many new faces here today. I just live three houses over, next door to the Montgomery's, who by the way, are new tonight too."

Without provocation, she lead the group over to JJ and Morgan, who were now surrounded by a large group of chirping housewives. Emily eyed JJ sympathetically, noting that her friend did not appear to be amused by whatever was going on around them.

"Natalie, have you met Leah?" Patty said, grabbing JJ's arm delicately and bringing her to stand with the much smaller group of FBI agents and Patty.

"No, I haven't." JJ laughed slightly at her lie. "I'm Natalie Montgomery."

"Leah Albright." Prentiss smiled, appreciating the irony of having to be introduced to her best friend. "This is my fiance Carson and my brother Patrick."

JJ smiled widely at Reid and Hotch, who both looked anxious to be at this joyous occasion. "Nice to meet you."

Hotch for his part, tried to keep his cover up but found it difficult. There was a small pit in his stomach that he hadn't anticipated finding, but he instantly knew that it would be his constant companion for the next few months. He just couldn't help but observe that JJ did the whole small town, wife gossip very well, acting as though she was a natural.

"Natalie's husband just told us that these two are trying to have a baby." A woman turned around to inform the group, causing JJ to flush violently.

"What?" Reid automatically stammered, not believing his ears. Emily and Hotch looked at each other skeptically, thinking that this was certainly an odd twist of events.

"That reminds me Natalie, I've still got my card for my obstetricain in my purse if you ever need it." Patty informed.

"I don't think that will be necessary. You see, we aren't..." JJ went to try to explain again but was once again cut off by Morgan's cunning.

"We aren't making any appointments until after a few weeks." Morgan finished her sentence, though not how she intended it. He came up to JJ's side, squarely facing his colleagues. "We still need it a good old fashioned try, then we'll talk to doctors."

"Remind me not to go to your two's house after ten." Another woman giggled, causing JJ to look at her disgustedly.

"Old fashioned try, eh?" Emily snorted, unsure of if she could really do this for the next three months. This was almost too much for her to believe.

Hotch remained silent, mentally reminding himself that it was all just a cover. He had no idea why he cared so much, though the pit in his stomach swore he did.

"We're still just enjoying wedded bliss." Morgan said in mawkish sweetness, causing JJ to cringe.

"Well, when I was having my fourth child..." Patty began on her saga, entrapping the interest of Reid and an entertained Morgan who nodded and kept asking for suggestions.

"Have you ever seen so much Jello in your life?" Emily whispered conspiratorially to JJ.

"Maybe it helps with fertility." JJ bit out. "If so all of these women are going to be force feeding it to me by the end of the night."

"At least Morgan is willing to have fun, Hotch is a stick in the mud." Emily informed, eyeing the blonde jealously. "The entire day was spent by him sorting his laundry into some anal retentive orgazational paradigm."

"Please, I would much rather take Hotch and his over starched shirts than Morgan and his lies." She responded acidly, throwing Morgan a mutinous look. "Someone is _so_ sleeping on the couch tonight."

"So what? Everyone thinks you two are happy lovebirds. What's the big deal?"

As JJ began to speak her carefully crafted response, Patty turned to face the two of them. "By the way, we're having a little get together next week, we'd love for you to come. Its just for some good old quality girl time!"

"Girl time?" Emily choked out. "Goody."

"Oh, Nats would just love to go. Wouldn't you Sweetheart?" He tried to make out her response to the nickname 'Nats', he had to find the optimum annoyance factor for the least amount of embarrassment for him.

"I might be--" JJ began, but he once again foiled her.

"That settles it. Natty will be there, just call her with the details." Morgan announced proudly, watching as even Hotch cracked a smile.

"But--" JJ tried feebly.

"Oh we'll just have the greatest time." Patty said with finality, causing JJ to fear a little for if she even tried to back out.

* * *

"Come on, it was fun and you know it." Morgan said after JJ slammed the front door behind her. The tips of her ears were flushed red, never a good sign.

She shook her head silently, continuing on her vow to not speak to Derek Morgan for the rest of her life. She had been half amused, not that she would ever admit that because the rest of her was so entirely annoyed she longed to bash his bald head in.

"You can't stay quiet forever." Morgan taunted, blocking her path to the bedroom.

She stood on her spot, folding her arms angrily, daring him to even try her.

"What did I even do?" Morgan teased, laughing at JJ's sharp intake of air.

"What did you do?" She whispered derisively. "What did you do? I can't even believe you have the gall to ask that question."

"You're just mad because I won." He muttered, causing her to fight back a smile.

"Its on." JJ declared passionately. "At first, I was going to go easy on you, but now...you can forget about it! Just you wait to see what I can do to you."

"Is that a threat?" Morgan chuckled, dodging the pillow JJ chucked at his head.

"More like a promise." She said coyly, grinning as he shuddered involuntarily with fear.

"Please, like Will hasn't ever played around with you like that." He scoffed.

"No, he hasn't." JJ said firmly, part of her wishing he had. She enjoyed her relationship with Will, that much was for certain, but she sort of _enjoyed _the irony of her current predicament compared with her actual life. With Will, she felt as if she really did have to be the classic Stepford wife, while with Morgan they freely laid their mockery on the table.

"Well then, you must be having no fun Baby girl. Lets see what good old buddy Morgan can do to fix that." He said suggestively, not ever anticipating what came next.

"Really?" JJ said wickedly, wrapping her arms around him.

"Um...JJ?" Morgan stuttered.

She lead him provocatively out of the bedroom door before shoving him and slamming it in his face. She lifted her hands in triumph.

"Yeah Jayje, you've still got it!" She whispered victoriously, doing a small dance.

"Oh Sweetheart, that was cold." Morgan shouted from the other side of the closed door, not believing he actually fell for that.

"What's going to be cold is when you're sleeping on the couch with no blankets." She shot back, leaning her entire body against the locked door so that he couldn't kick it down.

"JJ, open the door." Morgan said sweetly, after she refused to respond, he pushed with relative ease, gently nudging it open.

"I thought it was locked." JJ mused, stepping away, her eyes wide with worry.

"Apparently it doesn't stick very well." Morgan smiled wickedly, easily scooping JJ in his arms and over his shoulder caveman style.

"You put me down now!" She managed to demand between choking fits of giggles.

"You said I was going to sleep on the couch tonight." Morgan panted, running down their stairs and into the living room. "I've got to show you how comfortable our couch just is." He threw her down softly and bent over, grabbing her small perfect feet in his strong hands. Delicate as a feather, Morgan tickled her tiny feet mercilessly.

"Seriously stop it!" JJ insisted, her words holding no weight through her laughter.

"I'll show you stop." He muttered, tickling faster than before. Deciding to become truly diabolical, he leaned over and poked her in the side.

"Wooweeee." She squealed. It was common knowledge that JJ was the most ticklish member of the team, and Morgan found that this detail was going to bring him much joy in the coming months.

"Say uncle." Morgan taunted, pinning her arms to her side and pausing his onslaught for a moment.

"No." She chuckled in the momentary reprieve. Beginning once again, only attacking her more vigorously, Morgan continued tickling until he was interupted by her concession. "Fine, uncle!"

"I'll--" Morgan began but was cut off by the soft rapping on the door. He immediately went to the door, JJ a step behind him, tirelessly trying to fix her appearance from the battle before.

"Hi." Suzanne smiled, holding out a yellow bowl of Jello salad. "Oh dear. Did I interrupt something?"

Morgan looked over at JJ curiously before getting a decent look at her. With her sleeve falling off of her shoulder and her hair slightly ruffled, it definitely looked like Suzanne was interrupting something.

"Oh, no, we we're just..." JJ said nervously, taking the bowl from her new neighbor, but once again Morgan interrupted.

"We're still just trying the good old fashioned way for a baby." He grinned proudly, wrapping his arm around JJ. "We're still in that newlywed time of life."

"Oh." Suzanne nodded, smiling broadly. "I understand completely. I'll uh...be sure that the entire nieghborhood knows that its um...best to visit before eight."

"That really isn't..." JJ began urgently as Suzanne turned to leave.

"We'd really appreciate it." Morgan thanked. "Natty Bear here is just a little shy about that sort of thing."

"I'm not shy, we just really--" JJ tried to interject but Suzanne cut her off this time.

"Well, good luck." She bade before turning and leaving.

Morgan slammed the door shut, smiling in triumph.

"You really are sleeping on the couch tonight." JJ muttered, walking up the stairs to the master bedroom.

"But Baby, how are we supposed to conceive when we don't sleep in the same bed?" Morgan played stupid, causing JJ to long to kick him now more than ever. He jogged up the stairs, knowing that JJ really wouldn't kick him out. "Say, question, do you ever make Will sleep on the couch?"

"No. Will's perfect, he doesn't do anything for me to kick him out for." JJ answered honestly, a soft sadness in her voice.

"Where's the fun in that?" Morgan chuckled, causing JJ to smile wearily. "Is he really that perfect?"

"Yeah, he is." She said quietly before turning her mind away from her insecurities. "And the fun with Will is that I don't have to pretend to be pregnant for one."

"Not pregnant, conceiving." Morgan corrected, causing JJ to lob another pillow at his head which he once again avoided. "You really have terrible aim."

JJfought herself, trying not to laugh, while Morgan slipped into the bed. "Have a preferred side?" He asked, though loving his torment of the blonde across the room, he didn't want to create a horrible situation for either of them. JJ seemed to be the type that had a set side of the bed, not that he had ever cared much.

"Left." JJ called from the bathroom.

"Hmmm, I would have pegged you as a right side of the bedder." Morgan mused, while easily shifting to the other side.

JJ smiled in the mirror as she finished getting ready for bed. While it was going to be a long three months, at least there was going to be some fun.

* * *

"Rock, paper, scissors for it?" Emily asked, collapsing in the middle of the large king sized bed. What were the chances that both she and Hotch couldn't sleep when on the left side of the bed?

"Emily, you can just have it." Hotch offered, trying to be a gentleman. "In fact, this is ridiculous, I will just sleep on the couch. It would be improper for us to--"

"Hotch," Emily interrupted him, her eyes revealing how ridiculous she thought his opposition to be, "we're both adults. It doesn't make sense for you to sleep on the couch. Besides, there are negative implications for our cover if someone saw you sleeping on the couch."

"That's a valid point." Hotch conceded. "But I insist you take the right side." He said chivalrously.

"But then you won't be able to sleep." She muttered, knowing that if she was the reason that the insomniac unit chief didn't get any sleep that she would feel terrible. "What if we switch off?"

"Alright." Hotch agreed. "But you go first."

"Deal." Emily said pertly, rolling to the preferred side.

Hotch climbed in next to her, carefully ensuring that there was a decent amount of space between them. As he looked out the window, his mind couldn't help but visit the small blonde woman on the other side of the neighborhood. He was finding that his jealousy got no better watching a fake relationship involving her than a real one, not that anyone knew this. He had been very careful to keep his longing to a minimum and keep it all a secret. He was her boss, he could never tell JJ exactly how he felt nor could he ever actually ever have what he wanted from her. But that didn't stop her from being the last thing he thought about at night.

* * *

**_An/ Reviewing is always welcome. In fact, its encouraged, so get on that please!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_AN/So, this story is never far from my heart. Because it's one of my favorites, I usually save it while I work on others. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do! _**

**_Last time I checked, I didn't own Criminal Minds._**

* * *

As the bell rang signaling her first foray into the educational profession, Emily sighed deeply, ready to start. How hard could this be?

"I'm Leah Albright, and I know you've had substitute teachers for a while, but I'm the new teacher." Emily announced to the class, deciding that the student's French was probably _not_ at a place where they would understand her if she only spoke French. "Do you have any questions for me?"

A lone boy in the back of the class raised his hand quickly. "Are you a republican or a democrat?" He asked.

Taken aback, Emily noticed that all of her student's seemed rivited to her answer. "I consider myself an Independant, but I probably lean more liberally."

"Oh." The boy replied. Had she not been a profiler, she would have missed how the attitude in the room changed. Many of the students seemed to look at her in distain while others seemed to gain a newfound respect for her as a result of her admission.

This was going to be a long assignment.

* * *

"Alright, settle down." Reid began nervously as he stepped in front of the class. "Shhhh..."

"Dude, how old are you?" A football player called from the back row. "You look like you're twelve."

"I'm 27." Reid said firmly. "Now if you'll open your books to page 17, we'll start reading."

Not paying Reid any attention, the class began to discuss amongst themselves the various happenings of the day. Finally the bell rang, ending Reid's torture.

"The homework problems on page 21 will be due Friday!" He called as the students shuffled out of the room. Grateful that he had a free period next, he hoped that he would run into JJ. Garcia had managed to get the two FBI Agents a spot in the same school with the same free periods each day. Reid was currently contemplating getting Garcia some presant in show of his gratitude. Walking into the teacher's lounge, he rushed straight to the coffee maker.

"Give me that, NOW." JJ commanded, coming up to him from behind. He quickly handed over the cup of coffee, and began to pour himself another cup.

"Bad day?" He asked, noticing how she instantly soothed as the caffeinated beverage entered her system.

"The worst. My _husband_ decided to remove all of the coffee from the house. Then, I didn't get here in time to get a cup, so I've had to go all morning with this terrible headache."

Reid gaped at her in horror. "Why? Why would he do that?"

"To torture me I guess. Then this morning I was asked to coach the soccer team, and it's been _years_ since I coached anyone, so--" She put the cup to her lips, only to have it snatched away by a familiar face.

"Natalie!" Her nosy neighbor from the night before cried in horror as she discarded JJ's precious cup of coffee. "Joshua was right, I'm going to keep an eye on you. It takes a village to raise a child."

"Yeah, and you're the idiot." A tall brunette teacher muttered as she past JJ's coffee theif. "Come on Patty, give it a rest." As Patty Buswell huffed out of the lounge, obviously upset that anyone would talk to her like that, the brunette smiled up at JJ. "Hi, I'm Addison. I teach Pre-Calculus and am the basketball and volleyball coach. You must be the new gym teacher."

"She's the new soccer coach too." A dark haired woman said as she entered the lounge. "I'm Debby. American History teacher, and your assistant coach." Turning to appraise Reid, she smiled happily. "You must be the Physics teacher."

"Yeah. Patrick Albright." He smiled. Sensing that he was greatly outnumbered, he quickly decided to retreat from the room filled with women. "But, I've got a lesson to plan, so I'll talk with you later."

Ignoring JJ's murderous glare at his abandonment, Reid quickly ducked out of the room, hoping to avoid any extra curricular assignments. "Patrick Albright." Patty Buswell came up from behind. As a school administrator, he had been certain that her earlier departure had meant he was in the clear. "We were wondering if you have time after school to help with the Chess Club. They just need a teacher to supervise and to play with them every once in a while. You'll be compensated for your efforts." She said, cringing slightly as though she expected him to quickly turn her down.

"I'd love to." He responded, trying to prevent himself from smirking widely. Suddenly, this whole teaching thing didn't seem to bad.

* * *

JJ cringed as the final bell rang, ending her last period of "teaching" gym. It had been easy enough to make the kids do warmups and run around, though she expected it would probably be better if she began to have them play sports. Her communications class had gone rather well, all of the students were mildly friendly. But there was one thing she wasn't looking forward too. Soccer.

For the first time in her life, JJ dreaded going to soccer practice. Not because she didn't know how to play or didn't still have the skills, but she was sure that the students had been loyal to their old coach, and she just didn't have time to be in an undercover operation _and_ deal with hormonal teenagers that hated her. Sighing resignedly, she met the team in the locker room, ready for the challenge.

"So, are you ready for your first day of practice?" A young blonde, probably a junior, asked her as she looked her over suspiciously. JJ cringed at the obvious distrust in the young girl.

"Um, sure?" JJ responded, unsure that she even wanted to gain the youngster's trust. As the other's shuffled in, JJ began to inform them of the workout for the day. "Okay, so Debby told me that she's vetted out the team and that she's really excited for our prospects this year. I know that if we work together as a team, we'll do great. But I won't settle for anything less than your best, so I expect you to give your best at every practice. I expect--"

"Natty" She heard a singsong voice call from the distance, interrupting her opening remarks. She smiled as she tried not to roll her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" JJ feigned sweetness as she turned to find Morgan peaking in the door.

"I just came to see the love of my life." Morgan responded, his words dripping with charm. She turned, seeing how all of the occupants of the locker room seemed to suddenly become immensly interested.

"Well that's nice." She said, trying to dismiss his attempts at public affection. This was neither the time, nor the place--if there ever was going to be a time and place for public affection between her and Morgan. "But I'm kind of busy right now."

Morgan, however, would have none of it. Wanting to impress the younger girls, and make JJ uncomfortable, he strode into the room, slung his arm around her waist and kissed her quickly before she had time to respond. He noted with satisfaction that the teenage girls tried not to squeal in delight, and he could see that their respect for their "teacher" was growing by the second.

"So, what are we doing to day for practice?" The assistant coach asked as she walked into the locker room.

"Erm, just a second." JJ said, practically throwing Morgan and herself out the door and taking refuge in a small supply closet next door.

"What are you doing here!?!" She hissed angrily.

"I came to tell you that we've got some leads on one of the guys back on the precinct. I thought you could look for any connections here at the school." Morgan said, looking at her in confusion.

"And that couldn't have waited until I got home?" She asked angrily.

Morgan had prepared a quick retort, but her question caught him off guard. Sheepishly, he smiled, and said, "I guess it could have."

"So instead, you come _here_ where I have a bunch of teenaged girls watching my every movement?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time. It's not like I knew that you'd have a gaggle of girls in front of you." Morgan muttered, moderately glad he could make JJ so flustered. His relationship felt more like good buddies than anything remotely romantic, but he loved that he could make her flustered.

"I'm sure it did. So what is this _vital_ intel?" She huffed.

"All of our victims shared similar a desire. They were trying for kids." He informed, proud of himself for picking it up.

"That was the vital intel that got us stuck in a closet?" She shrieked. "I could have told you that."

"Really now?" Morgan asked, sure that she was just gloating.

"None of the women were on birth control, and when their houses were searched and catalogued there were no contraceptive devices found." JJ sneered.

"Well, you could have told me that." Morgan said testily as he began to fiddle with his belt buckle.

"What are you doing?" JJ asked angrily in a hushed tone as Morgan began untucking his shirt slightly. Her question was quickly cut off as he pressed his lips to hers.

"What was _that?_" JJ spat out in a furious whisper as she pulled away from him.

"Jayje, come on. We've been in a supply closet for almost ten minutes--mind you, we entered the supply closet after you nearly dragged me out of the room--a room where you've got at least fifteen girls standing outside waiting for us. We're newlyweds. What do you think _they_ think we're doing?"

JJ wanted desperately to disagree with him, but having been a seventeen-year-old girl herself, she had to agree with Morgan's logic. "This is so against the safe school policy." JJ muttered as she ran her hand through her hair, mussing it a little.

"Joshua Montgomery is a very lucky man." Morgan chuckled as JJ shot him a glare.

"Too bad you aren't." JJ retorted evenly as Morgan reached over and unbuttoned her first couple buttons of her blue blouse. "Hello, those are mine!"

"Fine, but miss a button when you fix it." He conceded, pulling her sleve so that her shirt fit wierd. "It gives us an excuse to meet in private so I can pass information without worrying about any nosy neighbors."

"Wow, apparently we had a very good time." JJ laughed uncomfortably, unsure of how this situation could really get much worse. She and Morgan had always been friends--friends that watched the Superbowl together. Friends that drank together. She considered him more of a brother than a romantic interest, and this _pretending_ was slightly mortifying.

"Don't worry JJ, in a few months you get to do this whole routine with Will." Morgan teased. "And that time it will be real."

"I doubt me and Will are ever going to find ourselves in a supply closet chatting about serial killers." JJ said, rolling her eyes slightly.

"You never know baby." Morgan said suggestively. "This is where all the magic happens." He leaned over and put his warm mouth on her neck, sucking slightly.

"What in the--" She shrieked, then quickly whispered "What do you think you are doing?!?"

"They are going to think its suspicious if nothing on you looks red or swollon or sucked on." Morgan insisted. "If we are newly married, our libido is--"

"Don't even start with me on our libido." JJ bit out. "I don't care if it looks suspicious or not."

"Need I remind you that it was _you_ telling _me_ that we had to work on our cover?" Morgan pointed out.

"I think we've done plenty of _work for our cover." _JJ grumbled. "Now if we're finished, I have a soccer team to coach."

"After you." He motioned as he opened the door, pretending that he was a gentleman though both he and JJ knew he was far from it.

"Thanks." JJ muttered as she walked out the door, only to find that the entire team and assistant coaches had followed her and were waiting for her in front of the supply closet door. Trying to ignore the gaping stares of the teenage girls, she shouted enthusiastically, "You ready to run?" Snapping them out of their daze.

It took a moment for them to respond, all of their eyes sifting toward each other, begging the question of "what in the world?" Slowly, they one by one nodded as JJ grabbed her whistle and gave it a blow.

"Give me a mile, and then we'll see where we're at." She commanded as all of the girls went out to the doors facing the football field.

"So, that's your husband." Debby stated awkwardly. "He seems nice. And attractive."

"You have no idea." JJ said diplomatically, knowing that the double meaning of the phrase meant she wasn't entirely lying. "You really have no idea."

"You might want to fix that button." Debby whispered conspiratorially as JJ cringed slightly and fixed the button she had intentionally misdone. She was going to kill Derek Morgan. She just had to find the most painful way to do it.

* * *

**_Happy 24th of July!_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_AN/This update is a direct response to a certain reviewer (you know who you are). Reviews TOTALLY help me to get chapters out, and its nice to know people are reading. So, ciaragirl89 and everyone else who reviews, I hope you like this chapter. A little bit of JJ revenge not turning out quite as she had expected._**

**_Last time I checked, I didn't own Criminal Minds._**

* * *

Hotch groaned as he saw the stack of dishes in the sink. "Em--I mean Leah, is there a reason that we have our sink full of dishes?" He tried to hide the annoyance in his voice.

"Yeah. Because we haven't done them." Emily replied, not looking up from the book she was reading.

"And you couldn't have put the dirty ones in the dishwasher?" He asked, sighing deeply as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to begin attacking the disaster in the kitchen.

"Relax. I'll get to it eventually." Emily dismissed. "Or you could do it."

"I _do_ put my dishes in the dishwasher. I've done the dishes _every time_ so far. I don't understand what is so difficult to understand about keeping them out of the sink." He grumbled.

"It doesn't bother me." Emily shrugged. "If it bugs you so much, then it's a good thing you're taking care of it."

Emily was so entranced in her book that she missed the glowering look Hotch threw her way.

* * *

Morgan stepped in the door to the small home he and JJ were sharing to find the smell of baking bread wafting from the kitchen.

"Natty?" He called questioningly.

"Oh Joshy." JJ said with a bright, Donna Reed approved smile. "I'm so glad you're home, I've got a surprise treat for you." She taunted whimsically, grabbing his hand and leading him to the dining room where several familiar faces sat along with a woman he didn't recognize and the partner he was working with. While it was known that there was an undercover operation going on within the station, Morgan's partner, Lucas Fuller, still didn't know the truth of Morgan's identity; and for the integrity of the operation, they were trying to keep it that way.

"You know Carson and Leah." JJ said sweetly as she pointed towards Hotch, who looked awfully uncomfortable, and Emily who had a wide smirk slapped on her face.

"Nice to see you again." He winked, causing Prentiss to laugh a little.

"And then this is Patrick, he works with me at the school and happens to be Leah's brother." JJ beamed, nodding her head toward Reid who looked like a displaced deer. "Isn't that a coincidence?"

"Sure is." Morgan mused, gleaning his first look at the well endowed table. There had to be enough food for thirty people at the least; If JJ wanted to play this game, well, he could certainly live with it.

"And you know Logan." JJ said, turning her head to Rossi who chuckled. "And you know Lucas..." She trailed, smiling brightly at his partner. "But this is his wife Linda."

"Nice to meet you." Morgan said politely, causing Linda to blush.

"We're having an impromptu dinner party." JJ squealed in false delight, raising her arms cheerleader style. "Yay."

"Oh." Morgan said understandingly, pulling his 'wife' into a hug. "Seriously Jayje, what the hell is this?" He whispered in her ear with a hiss.

"Payback." She retorted softly, before kissing him with unrestrained passion in front of the entire group, pulling her tongue out quickly before he could reciprocate. "Now lets get started!"

The rest of the team looked at her with uncertainty. Hotch gulped quietly before taking sudden interest in his salad, Emily looked at the blonde as if JJ had lost her mind, Reid just gaped, his mouth wide with wonder and Rossi--Rossi was the only one who saw through the carefully crafted facade, laughing silently to himself.

She looked at Morgan wickedly, but crestfallen, she realized that it didn't faze him nearly the way it did her. She winced slightly, all of that for nothing. But she had other things up her sleeve, wonderfully awful things that Garcia wouldn't even think of.

"Well isn't this nice?" He smiled, putting on his best act as the protective, responsible husband. He had seen enough episodes of "Leave It to Beaver" to know that he had this routine down cold.

"Yes it is." Reid answered, earning a confused look from Emily.

"Well if we are digging in." Morgan grinned, piling some of the Roast on his plate, but JJ was quick to pick the plate up and hold it over her head.

"Now, Joshy, you know what the doctor has said." She ordered, a mischievious glint simmering in her eye.

"What?" Morgan said slowly, already knowing that he wasn't about to like this.

"Like you could forget what the cardiologist told us." She chastised, turning to his partner's wife. "He just told us last week that Josh needs to be on a meat restricted diet."

"What?" Morgan scoffed.

"I can eat all the cow I want but Joshua here" She looked over at him. "One piece of bacon or steak and he'll be sacked like the QB for the Crimson Tide."

Lucas nodded, being a Utes fan himself, he fully understood how bad that could be.

"The only problem now is that I don't know if I can trust him when he's not in my line of sight." JJ said, earning Linda's sympathy. "He goes out and all this hard work we are doing to keep him clean goes out the window like that." She snapped for effect, missing the scathing stare Morgan was shooting her. "Selective memory."

"Well, Luke can make sure that he remembers not to eat any meat." Linda offered. "Can't you honey?"

"What?" He began. "Take away a man's--"

She cut him off sharply. "If he eats meat _you _sure aren't." Her threats resonated a deep look of desperation in her husband.

"Sorry man." He shrugged towards Morgan. "Sure thing Sweetheart."

Rossi chuckled appreciatively, enjoying the verbal tennis match he was allowed to watch.

Morgan glowered at JJ, who smiled in response, handing him a plate of chicken. "Luckily Joshy can have all the chicken he wants. Otherwise, I think a vegetarian diet would drive him crazy."

Morgan chuckled slightly. He had underestimated her. He _hated_ chicken. "Thanks darling." He tried to smile at her as he accepted the plate she offered, all the while plotting his next act of vengeance.

"Did you know we're trying to have a baby?" He asked suddenly as all of the dinner party guests began eating. Rossi chuckled appreciatively while Emily choked on her drink. Reid looked around in surprise and Hotch seemed to quickly lose all interest in food.

"Really?" Linda asked, brightening as she looked at JJ happily. "Oh, I'm so excited for the two of you."

"Oh, but it will probably take a while--" JJ shook her head sadly, fighting off the embarrassment as she quickly began to plot how else she could ruin Morgan's life, and lowered her voice "Josh's heart condition and all."

"Don't lie to them." He ordered with a sanguine smile. "Nattybear's monthly gift is supposed to be coming any second now, but we're hoping it doesn't show up for a few more months."

"Josh." JJ hissed through clenched teeth. "I don't know how appropriate this topic is for eating."

"Oh nonsense." Linda declared. "I have four kids of my own, its no news to me."

"Really?" Morgan asked happily. "You can show Natalie the ropes. She has a son back in Florida, but he lives with her ex and--"

"Oh, don't pressure her dear." JJ barked with a plastered on smile while underneath the table she aimed her stiletto heel on his foot and pressed.

"OWW!" Reid shrieked. "What was that for?"

"Sorry." JJ muttered embarrassed.

"We're just hoping that its the real deal this time." Morgan informed. "Nattybear just isn't as fertile as we hoped she would be."

"Maybe its not me who has the problem." JJ interjected wickedly, feigning an epiphany.

"Excuse me?" He whispered.

"I got pregnant from my ex just fine." She confessed with mock sweetness. "Josh just doesn't like to think it might be him with the problems."

Linda nodded acceptably, while Emily literally snorted peas out her nose.

"Well, we'll see about that when our guests are gone." Morgan purred. "Is it your turn with the cuffs or mine?"

"Oh my." JJ quipped, suddenly blushing.

"By the way, did you pick up that lace number from the--" Morgan continued, as Hotch shot him a mutinous glare.

"Who wants dessert?" JJ asked, rising from the table and heading to the kitchen.

Rossi rose after her, deciding that he could help her out a little. It was only fair after she had provided him with more entertainment in the last hour than he had in months. In the kitchen, he found her leaning over the island, pointing a sharp knife at an angel's food cake.

"I just had to go feed into his stupid little game." She mumbled to herself, throwing the knife into the cake. To be honest, now Rossi was a little scared.

"Are you alright?" Rossi said softly, coming up behind her and grabbing the knife from her shaking hand.

"Oh, I'm fine." JJ shrieked derisively. "I am dandy! Just peachy as I abandon my son for this wonderful operation." She pointed at the kitchen around her. "Its great to know that I can play Betty Crocker here where I haven't made a real meal for my family since Christmas of last year!"

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked uncomfortably.

"No, I'm fine." JJ waved off, snatching the baker's knife from his grasp and continuing her assault on the cake. "The entire Wasatch front thinks I'm some nymphomaniac housewife, but hey, who cares?"

"You do apparently." Rossi said quietly. "What did Will have to say about all of this? I mean, if a guy was talking to my fiancee like that, I think I'd--"

"I haven't told him." JJ shrugged simply.

"Because you're ashamed?"

"No, because it hasn't come up." JJ responded, not understanding his point.

"And you don't think you have a responsibility to tell him exactly what you and Morgan have been up to?" Rossi inquired.

"What is there to tell him? That we purposely make the other look like an idiot; its not like he cares." JJ defended.

"You kissed Morgan with no problem, does Will know that?" Rossi pressed.

"We're solidfying our cover." JJ retorted. "And you know what?" She began rhetorically. "With your marriage record, you have no room to talk about my fake relationship."

"I'm just saying that if I were Will, I would be worried that my fiancee is secretly in love with her partner." Rossi explained.

"Be in love with Morgan?" JJ scoffed. "That is ridiculous."

"Why?" Rossi prodded.

"Because we work together." JJ said in horror. "That's just--"

"Doesn't stop you with Hotch." Rossi mused, catching her confused look.

"Huh?"

"You waited." Rossi mused. "When Morgan walked into the room, you waited until Hotch was watching to kiss Morgan, almost as if to stick it to him. For some reason, kissing Morgan in front of Hotch gives you--"

"Hold it right there." JJ ordered, now pointing the knife at Rossi. "You're being crazy..."

"Why else would you stay with a unit even after you have the perfect life back in DC?" He asked interestedly.

"I am not interested in Hotch." JJ reaffirmed. "And anyway, why do you care so much what Will thinks?" She changed the subject back to Will, because the conversation about Hotch just felt too personal to go over now.

"I think if you marry him; he should have a fighting chance at you being in love with him." Rossi clarified. "Call me crazy."

"I do too love him." JJ countered. "And I don't know how you--"

"He's been trying to get you to marry him for how long?" He pressed, earning an ashamed glance.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm just saying that if you loved him, you might have been willing to set a date before it became his leverage." Rossi shrugged.

"Easy for you to say; you're life philosophy is when in doubt, marry it." JJ bit out acidly.

"If you were in his position, how would you feel?" He asked.

"Rossi--" JJ groaned but he held his finger up at her.

"If Will was spending three months living with his coworker, pretending to be married and doing a good job at it; how would you feel?" He pressed.

"I wouldn't care." JJ answered honestly.

"And maybe that's the problem." He sighed, walking out the kitchen door. "If you want to get back at Morgan, get Garcia here. She knows how to play this better than you do. I'm sure she could coach you."

* * *

"Have a great night." JJ bade as she watched the last of the guests--Linda and Lucas leave the small home.

"Now that was cold." Morgan stated as the door slammed. "You really were going to take my meat away from me."

"I left you with chicken, be grateful." She smiled wickedly.

"Too bad that I was the lead this evening." Morgan scoffed.

"Not for long" JJ quipped. "I'm just getting started."

"Well, you're going to have to race to catch up then Missy." Morgan laughed.

JJ glowered, devising all of the possible ways that she could get back at Morgan. Finally, she conceded that Dave just might be right and it might be better for her to just call in Garcia. Seeing Morgan walk upstairs after chortling heartily, she quickly picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.

Will's southern drawl quickly filled the line. "Hi Will." She said, cringing slightly as she thought of what she was going to ask.

"JJ, I've missed you. How is it going?" He asked, his voice dripping with concern.

"Fine." She dismissed easily. "How about you?"

"Oh, the wedding plans are coming great. Your mother is picking out fabrics and today I think she put down a deposit on a wedding cake." Will said excitedly.

"Great." JJ wasn't sure why she had to keep herself from groaning. She desperately didn't want to talk about an upcoming wedding. " But, I was just wondering if Henry could come out and visit for a little while. I just really--"

"Say no more." Will interrupted chivalrously. JJ couldn't help but roll her eyes as she envisioned him standing a little straighter and puffing out his chest slightly at the opportunity to help her. "I assume you'll have someone pick him up?" He asked, almost reading her thoughts.

"Yeah, Garcia probably, and--"

"Jayje, I love you. Whatever helps you feel more comfortable. I miss you." She could hear Will's smile over the phone. Sometimes he was so sappy.

"Thanks." She added reluctantly.

"What about everything else?" He asked quickly. "How's the undercover--"

"It's going really well." She interrupted immediately, "But I really should get going."

"Ok, well, I love you. I trust you." He added, reluctantly letting her go.

"You too." She added before quickly ending the call. Sending off a quick message to Garcia, she was grateful that her two lifelines would soon be joining her in the Inter-mountain West.

* * *

Preparing for bed was a quick endeavor for the seasoned profilers. It now being Emily's turn to sleep on the right side of the bed, she silently cheered for her turn at a good nights sleep. She could tell that Hotch was deeply unsettled by the events that had occurred earlier tonight, though she wasn't quite certain why. Normally, every night passed in an understood silence, but tonight, Emily decided to break the unwritten rule.

"Hotch?" She asked quietly, knowing that he wouldn't be sleeping well tonight and was probably awake, but not wanting to disturb him in the off chance he was asleep. "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine Prentiss." He dismissed a little too quickly.

"That was some dinner party." She mused, not acknowledging his previous comment.

His soft grunt was all she got in reply.

"You know, some people fall in love undercover. You don't think--?" She trailed off, curious as to what had inspired her colleagues and friends to begin either an epic battle of wills or a whirlwind romance.

"Good Night Prentiss." Hotch said gruffly, though she could tell that he was thinking the same thing she was.

* * *

Getting ready for bed was an arduous activity as JJ attempted to actively avoid Morgan the entire time. Finally, she reluctantly exited the bathroom, hoping that Morgan would have fallen asleep in during her lengthy night time preparations.

"Took you long enough." Morgan mused. JJ cursed her unfortunate luck as she climbed into bed, dead set that she would simply ignore him.

"What, do I leave you speechless at the sight of my chiseled physique?" He asked suggestively and chuckled at the look of horror that crossed her features.

"Absolutely not!" JJ retorted, unable to come up with a witty response. Morgan chuckled and the pair soon fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"So, I heard you talking on the phone. Asking Henry to come out?" He asked after a moment.

"Yeah. Will didn't have a problem with it, so..." She trailed off, uncertain as to how to explain her reasoning.

"That's cool. I bet Will misses you. Does he have a problem that you're, you know, here?" He asked cryptically, not wanting to explain all of the various reasons that Will may have cause for concern.

"Nope." JJ replied. "He said he misses me, but that he trusts me. He's perfect." She said lamely, fighting the urge not to cringe at the admission.

"You know you say that all the time?" Morgan mused quietly, facing the bright alarm clock. "You always say he's perfect."

"Because its true." JJ shrugged.

"And you want someone like that?" Morgan asked sincerely.

"What's that supposed to mean?" JJ asked, rolling over to face him as he did the same.

"Jayje, you're pretty jaded. We all are." He said softly.

"And?" She prodded him, curious as to his train of thought.

"I just don't want you marrying him and then be disappointed that a piece of metal and a sheet of paper didn't change the problems that were already there."

"Come again?" JJ questioned furiously. "What problems?"

"You keep talking about how perfect Will is, but you never say that the two of you are perfect _together._" He observed.

"So?" She asked quickly.

"You are never going to be perfect." He informed, lifting his hand when she went to disagree. "No, just hear me out; you're not the perfect type. And if Will is, then I have to say that this could be a recipe for disaster."

"You're such a jerk sometimes." JJ informed, turning so that she didn't have to look at him.

"You're mad because you think I might be right." He announced calmly.

"Wouldn't that be the day?" JJ retorted. "Stop profiling me Morgan go to sleep."

The problem was, JJ wasn't entirely sure that Morgan was wrong. After a few moments, she could hear Morgan's soft steady breathing that informed her that he had fallen asleep. Morgan's words haunted her thoughts, keeping sleep just outside her reach.


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN/I know, I know. Y'all thought I had forgotten about this story, right? Ok, so thanks to all of the faithful readers who are still following this story. Sorry that there's been a shortage of new chapters, I'll work on that. Let me know what you think, I hope it lived up to the wait. _**

**_

* * *

_**

JJ awoke the next morning with a crippling head ache. Her lack of sleep the night before definitely hadn't helped matters. Walking down to the kitchen she and Morgan shared, she cursed as she saw the pile of dishes and left overs from the night before. Groaning, she purposefully ignored the mess, promising herself that she'd clean it up when she got back from work that day, she settled for a bowl of cereal to start the morning.

"Morning sleepy head." Morgan chuckled as he looked up from the paper he was reading to see the disheveled blonde rummage for a clean spoon. JJ simply groaned in response. "I talked to Garcia, her flight's getting in at 4:30 this afternoon, so I'll pick her and Henry up at the airport."

"Great." JJ groaned dropping her face to her hands as she collapsed on the dining room chair.

"I would have thought you'd be more excited." Morgan observed skeptically, slightly confused at her response. He knew that she had been annoyed with him last night, and silently vowed to tone down his mockery of his partner.

"Just leave me alone." JJ groaned, unable to stop the migraine that threatened to ruin her day. "I can't deal with you today."

"Oh, _somebody_ is testy this morning." Morgan scoffed. He studied her more closely and noticed her bloodshot eyes and constant sniffling. "Is everything okay?"

"It'll be fine." JJ grumbled, unwilling to admit that she felt more like she had been run over with a steam roller.

"You look terrible." He observed, noticing how her normally fair complexion had turned into a sickly pale color.

"Thanks." JJ grumbled as she pushed away her breakfast. The feel of her cereal against her throat made her feel sick to her stomach. Resigning herself to another day of teaching school, she quickly stood, easily fighting off the dizziness that threatened to overtake her.

"Are you okay?" Morgan asked again, this time his voice filled with concern. "Maybe you should take the day off today."

"I'm fine." JJ reaffirmed as she walked slowly up the stairs, the sheer idea of having to get ready already exhausting her. But she had a job to do, and there was no way that she was going to let a small migrane get in the way of completing this assignment.

"Whatever you say." Morgan relented, chuckling softly as he watched JJ retreat up the stairs. _That woman sure is stubborn._ He smirked as he picked back up the morning paper trying to find where he had left off.

* * *

"Let's go over this one more time." Hotch commanded, ignoring the eye-roll that Emily failed to hide. He, Reid, and Emily were spending the morning going over the case files and their profiling notes from the people they had come into contact with during the operation.

"The wounds inflicted post mortem seem controlled." Emily observed.

"Too controlled." Reid agreed as he inspected the wounds. "Almost surgical."

"And the trauma that the UnSub exhibits against the wife--there's definite rage behind that." Hotch pointed out, tossing a file aside while picking up her notes.

"But it's all done post-mortem which suggests either a lack of confidence or physical limitations to him being able to exhibit his rage while the victim's alive." Emily inserted.

"The shot to the husband--quick, methodical--it suggests that this UnSub probably has a record." Spencer added.

"It's definitely not his first crime." Emily agreed quickly.

"Well, it's somewhere." Hotch sighed, "Get Garcia to cross check male medical professionals with a history of violence. In the meantime, we'd all better get going." He advised.

Emily groaned in response. "There's a reason I didn't go into education."

* * *

"So, you've apparently managed to get my favorite lady's panties in a bundle. What have you done to her?" Garcia smiled knowingly as she hopped into the car after buckling Henry into a car-seat in the back seat.

"Oh Baby Girl, you know me. I've been a perfect gentleman." Morgan smiled chivalrously as he started the car.

"Stud Muffin, I don't think you'd know a gentleman if he punched you in the face." Garcia laughed, happy to be among the colleagues that she considered family. "So, what's new?"

"Baby Girl, what _isn't_ new?" Morgan laughed, pulling out of the short term airport parking lot.

"Point taken." Garcia chuckled. "Care to explain why you've deemed it your mission to make my bestest buddy's life a living hell?" She queried.

Morgan laughed heartily, "It's her own fault." He countered. "She should have known not to mess with the master."

"Oh" Garcia chuckled as she raised her eyebrow in disbelief, "But what about--"

Suddenly Morgan's phone rang, saving him from Garcia's recollection of the many times that JJ had flustered the seasoned FBI Agent "Mor--uh." He coughed, remembering his cover "Montgomery."

"Mr. Montgomery, this is Patty Buswell--your neighbor. Your wife had an episode in class today and we were wondering if you could meet us at the University Hospital."

"University Hospital? What happened?" Morgan asked, remembering how pale JJ had looked earlier in the day. He quickly changed lanes to avoid getting on the freeway.

"I'm not sure. She was in the middle of sixth period and passed out." Patty confessed, then whispered conspiratorially, "But the same thing always happens to me when I'm pregnant."

"We'll be right there." Morgan promised, dreading the possibilities of what could be wrong with his friend. He couldn't help but chuckle at the other woman's conclusion, and grimaced as he thought of how angry JJ would be when she discovered the speculations of others.

"What's wrong?" Garcia asked, worried by the tightening of his jaw and the way the car sped up slightly. Having heard the word _hospital_ she knew it couldn't be good.

"I think JJ's going to be a little upset." Derek chuckled, glancing through the mirror at a sleeping Henry in the backseat. "She's in the hospital. She looked sick this morning."

"And?" Penelope pressed, knowing that he was hiding the full story.

"And now everyone thinks she's pregnant." Morgan admitted, unable to stop the satisfied smirk that proved his superiority.

Garcia laughed heartily. "Oh, she's going to kill you."

* * *

All four profilers quickly checked their phones as the incessant buzzing disrupted their brainstorming session. Emily sighed, grateful for the momentary reprieve from her profiling session with the other two. On regular cases, the team worked effectively, and when stressful situations arose, Morgan or Garcia were usually the ones to lighten the mood. The more time she spent around the stoic unit chief, the more she dreaded the continuation of this assignment. Rossi had come over earlier in the evening to help with the profile, but they seemed to continually hit a brick wall. There had to be something they were missing.

"Daniels." Hotch answered his phone quickly, never faltering in his undercover requirements.

"Hey, its me." Morgan said quickly, knowing that the calls between members of the team needed to be quick in order to avoid a paper trail. "We're in the hospital."

"What?" Hotch exclaimed worriedly.

"JJ got sick." Morgan whispered into the phone. "Garcia's with her now, she passed out at work with a high temperature and symptoms of swine flu. She's fine, but they wanted to watch her for a couple of hours."

"Ok keep me posted." Hotch said lamely, desperately trying to quell the small pit in his stomach that had somehow erupted with the news. "We'll meet up tomorrow." He promised, hoping that JJ would be alright.

* * *

**_AN/Well, there you have it. I know it's been a long time coming, but I wanted to get this out there as soon as I could. Hope you enjoy!_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_AN/So, this chapter is mostly--if not completely--due to SSBAILEY--without her help, I would probably still be thinking about what to write rather than actually putting something out. She's great. _**

* * *

"I'm going to kill my _husband_!" JJ seethed as Garcia helped her out of the car.

"I'll help you later, but right now you need to get better because I know one little guy who is really missing his momma." Garcia smiled, pointing to the window where they could see Morgan standing in the hall holding a dozing Henry.

"You're right, I missed him too. It's just...ugh! Derek is..."

"A gorgeous hunk of super fox?" Garcia chimed in, cutting off JJ's tirade which was altogether unnecessary as JJ coughed darkly. Waiting for her friend's cough to subside, Garcia smailed patiently "Sweetie, can I ask you something?"

"Sure?" JJ shrugged, trying to ignore the massive headache that tormented her.

"What's going on with you and Will? He says you haven't talked to him since you left, and you've been really distant lately..."

"So? I've been..busy." JJ answered lamely. "I...I don't know if I want to.."

"Want too what?"

"Marry him."

"Don't be ridiculous. You're just sick." Garcia said placatingly, placing her hand on JJ's forehead for emphasis.

"I'm not so sure." JJ mumbled as Garcia hurried her into the house she was sharing with Morgan. With her fever state seemed to come certain clarity, and all of that clarity involved her and Will.

* * *

"So did you hear about Natalie Montgomery?" Patty whispered loudly to another woman Emily didn't recognize as she discreetly watched them at the other end of the grocery isle, "She's pregnant."

"Really? That's so exciting! We'll have to give her a baby shower from us neighborhood girls." Suzanne announced happily, completely missing the fact that Emily was literally not breathing at the news.

"Leah? Leah where are you? I found that cereal you wanted..." Hotch informed as he came down the isle where Emily was standing.

"Shut up!" Emily growled, snatching the food item from him, "I don't want Patty to..."

"Leah, Carson!" Patty greeted loudly, waving at them like a mad woman as she made her way towards them. "Have you heard about the Montgomery's? They're going to have a baby! Isn't that great?"

"Wonderful" Emily responded with a bright fake smile, her years as an Ambassador's daughter helping her achieve the perfect amount of believability. Nudging Hotch's shoulder she continued, "Isn't it Carson?"

"Oh yeah, wonderful." Hotch murmured stoically. JJ couldn't really be pregnant...could she?

* * *

Reid and Rossi sat in Rossi's living room reviewing case files. There has to be some connection we're missing. Rossi concluded as he read through the files that he assumed Reid had long ago memorized.

"Did you hear JJ's pregnant?" Reid interrupted just as Rossi was sipping a cold beer.

Spewing the liquid out of his mouth, Rossi choked. "What?"

"JJ and Morgan's neighbor told me." Reid concluded innocently. "Well more like cornered me at the gas station earlier when she saw me to tell me."

"And you're sure it's not just this woman speculating?" Rossi asked, his mind racing. He had been so sure that JJ hadn't slept with Morgan, but unless she was over two months along it couldn't be Will's. They had been on assignment too long.

"It could just be this woman speculating, but she said JJ fainted earlier and fainting spells often happen during early pregnancy. JJ was also very pale the last time I saw her, which could me that she has been getting sick on a regular basis.." Reid reasoned. "I'd have to see her in person to tell for sure, but if I were to guess I would say that all signs point to a logical assumption that she is, in fact, pregnant."

"You know what Reid? Let's go for a drive." Rossi decided, needing to know the truth.

"Where are we going?" Reid asked obliviously.

"To find answers."


	9. Chapter 9

**_AN/ Alright, so we're winding down but I just have to say thanks for all of the reviews. Y'all are great. AND, I would NOT be updating all of these stories without SSBAILEY'S awesome help. She's a great writer and a good friend, and now...on with the show._**

Rossi knocked gently on the front door of the small home, determined to get answers. Reid had uncomfortably admitted that he wasn't sure confronting JJ was the best plan, so Dave had dropped off the young genius on his way to the couple's home.

"Hey." A weary looking Derek Morgan looked up in surprise. "Why don't you come in?"

"You look like hell." Rossi laughed as Morgan rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, JJ's sick and Henry was crying all night--wasn't exactly a night at the Hilton." Morgan mused.

"I see what you mean" Dave laughed as the house phone started to right, which also woke up a now screaming Henry.

"Hang on a second. I swear if this is that Patty woman again I'll..." Morgan cursed, picking up the cordless phone. "Hello, Montogmery Residence. This is Josh."

"Agent Morgan this is Agent Scott Wood, I'm head of the Salt Lake field office. I just thought you should know that there's been another couple murdered."

"When?" Morgan ground out. "And where?"

"Around midnight last night from what the Davis County Coroner could tell. Embry and Sarah Burgess were found in North Salt Lake."

"But that's just--" Morgan calculated, remembering seeing the sign marking the city limits.

"About three miles from where you're team is undercover." The agent on the line confirmed.

"Great." Morgan groaned, hanging up to look at Rossi. "We've got another set of victims."

"Where at?" Rossi inquired.

"A couple of miles from here. Let's go before--"

"And compromise our covers?" Rossi asked. "We've got to have a logical reason to be there before we can just waltz in. The whole point of this is to draw out the UnSub, I don't think we can realistically jump back into the investigation without alerting the UnSub to who we are."

Morgan groaned in annoyance, "You're right."

"Hey my dark chocolate wonderman--" Garcia called from down the hall where she was pressumably settling a still screaming Henry. "Do you guys have any cold medicine for my main man Henry?" She asked, coming into full view with the furious toddler. "Hey Rossi, welcome to the humble house of sickness."

"Thanks Garcia." Rossi chuckled at the other woman's exhuberance.

"Anytime Sugar. But for now, Sir, why don't you make yourself useful and finish cleaning the dishes in the sink." She ignored Rossi's obvious surprise and turned on her heels. "Now where is that cold medicine?"

* * *

"You don't really think she's pregnant, do you? I mean, it would have to be Morgan's if she was..." Emily mumbled as she and Hotch sat down to eat a light lunch. Morgan had called earlier to inform them about the newest murders and she was trying to distract herself from not being able to view the crime scene by obsessing over if her team mate was pregnant. She attempted to assure herself that the reason she was focused on whether JJ was pregnant or not had only to do with her blonde friend's happiness and not the fact that the baby would be Derek Morgan's.

"Prentiss I really don't want to talk about this." Hotch interrupted, glaring at her. "And it's none of our business if she is or isn't pregnant. Until is interfere's with her ability to be a member of this team and do her job."

"So you'd just let them compromise this whole operation?" Emily asked, quirking her eyebrow in surprise.

"I expect them to both be professional. If they continue to adequately do the job, I can't intervene." He said coldly.

It didn't take a profiler to see the agitation on his face. "It just makes me wonder." Emily admitted aloud.

"What?" Hotch asked quickly, fighting the annoyance in his voice.

"Nothing" Emily answered quickly, knowing that if she wanted to survive this mission it would be in her best interest to stop speculating about her co-worker. The look on Hotch's face proved that.

* * *

"Tell Patty thanks for the soup" JJ said as she handed Morgan back her tray from dinner. "It was surprisingly good."

"Oh good, that means she didn't poison it." Morgan teased, handing JJ her next dose of medicine. Ever since Dave had left earlier in the day he had taken to caring for JJ while Garcia took care of Henry. "So Dave came over earlier..."

"And?"

"And he had some pretty interesting questions to ask me. I kinda felt like he was your father and I was asking him to take you to prom." Morgan shuddered, "And I thought Hotch had a glare that could kill."

JJ gave a half-hearted chuckle at the thought of their dark haired unit chief and David Rossi teaming up against Derek. The poor sap would have no chance. Before she could add her own witty remark, a coughing fit overtook her.

"How are you feeling?" Morgan asked with genuine concern as her cough subsided.

"Like I'm going to die." JJ smiled jokingly, but her eyes informed him that she was deadly serious.

"I'm sorry. Do you wanna try and take a shower?"

"No offense, but I don't think I can do it on my own and I'd rather Garcia or Emily help me." JJ admitted, "I know we're supposed to be married and all, but..."

"Relax, I get it." Morgan reassured, smiling. Pulling out his cell phone, he continued, "I'll call Em and see if she can stop by since Garcia's watching Henry."

"Thanks Derek...I mean Josh."

"Don't mention it." Morgan mumbled, listening to the ringing phone. "That's weird, she's not answering. Oh wait, it sounds like someone just picked up."

"Morgan, what's up? Emily's...busy." Hotch answered.

"Umm...nothing. Can you just have her call JJ when she gets a chance?" Morgan asked, his eyes wide with shock. Hearing Hotch promise to inform Emily that JJ wanted her to call her, he hung up saying, "Okay thanks. Bye."

"What's up?" JJ questioned, taking in his stunned appearance.

"Well..Hotch just answered the phone and he was completely out of breath...and he said Emily was busy." Morgan muttered, shaking his head a little, "You don't think they are..?"

JJ gulped, trying to fight feelings of jealousy that she had no business feeling. "No, I mean it's Hotch." She argued.

"Yeah," Derek laughed, despite the sinking feeling in his stomach, "And Emily." The pair chuckled at the unlikely couple but neither was willing to voice the lingering fear that was exactly what was happening.


	10. Chapter 10

_**An/I may or may not be reviewing this story to try to get a better handle on it. I still do have a plan, but hopefully chapters will come a little sooner as a result. Let me know what you think, this chapter is a shout-out to all of you that reviewed encouraging me to continue. Sorry to keep you waiting so long!**_

"What about that one?" Hotch asked as he pointed to a small simple band with a solitare diamond.

Emily scrunched up her face, seriously pondering whether her boss had any sense of taste at all. No wonder Hailey divorced him, "Erm, No." She said delicately, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

"Okay" Hotch replied, struggling not to roll his eyes at the fact that Emily had said "no" to the last twelve rings they'd looked at. At this rate, it was more likely that Jack would pick out his future spouse's ring before he and his "fiancee" even came close.

"There! That one!" Emily smiled, pumping her fist triumphantly as she pointed to a three stone ring of diamonds offset by two emeralds.

"Would you like to have it engraved?" The salesperson asked kindly as she removed Emily's ring from the cabinet. "We can have it done by the end of the week."

"Of Course." Hotch said quickly at the exact same moment in time that Emily responded with a firm, "No thank you."

Shooting a quick glance at each other, Emily recovered first. "If that's what you want to do babe." She offered a quick smile in Hotch's direction, before turning back to the salesperson. "Yes, we'd like it engraved." She conceded, groaning inside herself at how cliched she felt. At least this wasn't remotely real, otherwise she just might have to shoot herself.

"What would you like it to say?" The salesperson asked chipperly, directing her question to Emily as she shot the profiler an understanding look.

"I don't know, what do you think babe?" She turned to Hotch and asked, having absolutely no idea what she'd even want engraved on the ring.

_"Babe."_ Hotch cringed inwardly, having never been a fan of that particular term of endearment. Fortunately, Emily Prentiss was a tusted colleague and not a romantic interest, because otherwise, he might not be able to handle it.

"The couple's initials and their wedding date are what most couples get." The saleswoman offered helpfully, sensing the tension between the two. "Why don't you go home and sleep on it, and then call us in the morning and let us know what you decide."

"Oh alright. Thank you." Hotch offered awkwardly, smiling gratefully at the relief that washed over him with the prospect of leaving the store. Turning quickly, he was stopped when Emily interrupted him again.

"But I want to take it home today. I can just bring it back if I want it engraved right?" There was no way she was putting herself through all of this again. Spending "alone time" with Hotch was one thing, pretending to be his fiancee for the sake of a cover was another entirely--and she was paid far too little to enjoy this cover.

"Sure thing, ma'am." The saleswoman smiled and Hotch pulled out his checkbook to pay for the ring while Emily left to answer a phone call. As he signed the exhorberant amount, he was momentarilly relieved that it wasn't his money he was spending and once again, he was hit with a realization that he had come to understand more and more frequently. He couldn't wait for this assignment to be over.

* * *

"Jayje? It's Em." Emily called softly as she entered the master bedroom at the Montgomery household. "Derek said you wanted help taking a shower?"

"Oh yeah." JJ smiled shyly, her cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I would've asked Garcia but she's busy taking care of Henry..."

"Oh no, it's fine." Emily reassured, completely forgetting her new piece of jewelry. Pointing to a pair of limegreen and pink fluffy pants and top, Emily smirked, "I see Garcia already got you out a new pair of PJ's."

"Yeah, lucky me." JJ laughed which elicited a coughing fit. Emily smiled sympathetically as she watched her pathetic friend regain her composure. "I hate being sick." She groaned.

Emily chuckled. "I'm pretty sure that nobody really likes being sick JJ." She observed with a smirk.

"I feel awful." JJ admitted. "And there's so much to do, but I just don't have the energy--"

"The flu will do that." Emily agreed laughing at her own dry humor as she moved to help JJ out of bed.

JJ swatted her hand away. "I can do this myself. It's Morgan who decided that I can't take a shower by myself." JJ pushed herself off the bed, only to feel her head swim with dizziness.

"Easy there." Emily soothed, putting JJ's arm around her shoulders to help the blonde stand more steadily. She wasn't surprised to discover that JJ's fever had worsened since the last time she had seen her "No passing out on me."

" 'M Fine." JJ sniffed and scrunched her eyes together to keep the world from spinning in front of her.

"I'm sure you are." Emily placated. "Let's help you take a shower and then you can go back to bed." She insisted, rolling her eyes inwardly at her blonde friend who refused her help despite the fact she actually needed it.

* * *

It was the late afternoon when JJ found herself curled up on the bed she shared with Derek reading a book. There wasn't much she could do now that Garcia had emphatically declared that she would unleash the very powers of cyberspace if JJ got out of bed. Not wanting to incur her friend's wrath, JJ had reluctantly relented--she didn't feel up to doing much anyway.

"Hey Jayje, you feel like eating anything?" Morgan asked gently as he walked into their bedroom to find her watching a TV movie. It had been two days since Emily had come over to help her shower--since then she'd been able to do it on her own without being overcome by disiness or nausea--and suspiciously Hotch had taken to cooking them dinner and dropping it by for the past two nights.

"Hotch just dropped off some taco soup. He said it was your favorite." If Derek didn't know any better, he'd swear it was some sort of messed up flirting between the two--but JJ was still engaged, so that would never happen.

"It is." JJ nodded, sitting up. "But how did he know? You know what, nevermind. Profilers." She groaned despite the smile that graced her lips. Of course Hotch would remember the one time she had explained that taco soup was her mother's infamous remedy for any illness and had long ago become her favorite vice.

"It is weird that he's been making us dinner every night since you got sick, though." Morgan pointed out, helping her get situated before going to get her soup. "He even knew to send crackers, cheese, and sour cream to go with it. I'm a profiler, and I honestly didn't know that you liked taco soup or that you liked those things in your soup."

"Yeah." JJ said absently as she gingerly savored the taste in her mouth.

Waiting for just a moment, he asked "Are you feeling any better, you're doing okay, right?"

"What?" JJ feigned surprise, "This can't be true! You are actually asking me how I'm doing? I think I need to send out a press release. 'Undercover partner actually has a heart.'" She quoted as if she were reading a news article.

"Well, if you're mocking me, it seems you're healthier than I thought." Morgan laughed. "Seriously girl, how you feeling?"

JJ laughed as she moved to sip another spoonful. "Better, I think I could go back to the school on Monday."

"Lucky you." Derek laughed and JJ rolled her eyes playfully.

"As long as it gets me out of this house, I'm up for anything." JJ laughed.

* * *

JJ smiled as she brushed her teeth a week later, getting ready for bed. She chuckled as she realized how easily fell into the role of happy "wife" and school teacher now that she and Morgan weren't trying to drive each other crazy anymore, and she had to admit that as the days past she was feeling more and more relieved that she didn't have to report to Will at every turn. Morgan seemed to notice a change in her, commenting that she seemed to be happier than she had been in awhile, but she just brushed it off as not having to deal with all the wedding plans hoping he would believe her.

In truth, the only vestiges of homesickness she felt were evaporated when Henry came to join them out west. She pushed down the feeling of dread in her stomach that emerged at the thought of having to break up with Will. The only thing that made the dread worse was when she pictured marrying the cajun.

Spitting out the toothpaste, she finished up and crawled into bed next to Derek who was reading the latest phsychiatric journal.

"Seriously?" JJ asked smiling. "You don't get enough of that?" She gestured to the magazine in his hands.

"Not since I've gone back to being a detective." Derek retorted. "And soon, hopefully, we'll catch this UnSub and get to go back."

"Yeah." JJ said, the familiar dread of returning to her real life setting in. Pushing that thought aside, she smirked, "And maybe you'll even be able to ask Emily out on a date."

"Ha ha. You're so funny." Morgan rolled his eyes, smiling softly. Before this disaster of an assignment, he and Emily had just begun to breach the line between friends, and the time that he had to regroup was enough to assure him of what he wanted.

"Be quiet!" JJ shushed, waiving her hand frantically trying to quiet him. "I think I just heard something downstairs."

"I don't hear anything, it's probably just Garcia getting Henry something for a snack." Morgan dismissed. The sound of glass breaking in what sounded like the kitchen had him reconsidering. Grabbing his gun and flashlight out of the safe, he whispered, "Stay here, I'm going to check it out."


	11. Chapter 11

**_Author's Note: So, I must apologize that this story has been left for so long. Originally I had this arc planned where Emily and Hotch actually try dating and it ends in a horrible disaster, but that was the chapter that seemed to block me at every turn. So, I decided to just write an ending for this and end it the way I had planned. There should only be one chapter after this, of JJ/Hotch-ness, so yeah. BUT, this should be considered a major accomplishment because I have had absolutely no inspiration for this story for a while._**

**_Thanks for reading and reviewing._**

* * *

Derek slowly inched toward the stairs, mindful of the fact that he likely didn't look very imposing wielding his gun in only his boxers and a t-shirt. But then again, at two in the morning, what did an UnSub expect?

Garcia's soft snoring coming from Henry's room alerted him that it was _not_ as he originally hoped and Penelope was not rummaging for her godson's late night snack.

"Be careful." JJ whispered after him, cursing the fact she had left her own weapon downstairs in the gun safe.

Morgan held up his finger, gesturing her silence as he turned toward the stairs.

Scanning the first floor, he turned back to JJ and nodded, gesturing silently for her to stay put as he slowly made each step, cringing as the floorboards underneath him creaked on the fourth stair.

JJ, for her part, pursed her lips nervously as she paced along the small bedroom wishing she could do something to help. She stopped in her tracks as she saw the large tree just outside her second-story window and grinned as she rushed over and pulled the pane open.

As a teenager, she had perfected the art of sneaking out to meet up with her friends in order to do nothing more than smoke and drink beer away from the prying parental eyes.

Who would have thought _that_ talent would come in handy now?

Sliding out of the window and using the large oak tree to help her scale down to the ground level, she smirked as her feet touched the ground. Laughing inwardly at the look that would cross Derek's face when she poked her head through the window.

At least, that was assuming that the crash she had heard was not in any way related to the torturous UnSub that had murdered couples for months.

A girl could hope.

And really, what were the odds?

Because if it was anything like those mystery novels she'd been forced to spend her time pouring through lately, the team at least had the odds of a couple of close calls before the UnSub targeted them.

Though she knew as well as anyone that mystery novels didn't exactly portray real life.

Her feet landed with a thump on the thick crisp winter snow, wincing as small amounts of snow fell into her thick slippers.

Damn she hated the snow.

She snuck slowly along the outside of the house, gingerly treading along the outside of the house as she rounded the corner to their back door. She hesitated as she peered into their 'home' from the sliding glass door, feeling her heart sink as she saw Derek sprawled out on the floor with a dark figure looming over him. Luckily, the figure's back was turned to JJ and she slowly pushed the door open a crack.

"I'm so sorry." A familiar voice spat down at Derek's limp frame.

JJ snuck back into the home she had spent the last few months living in, hiding behind a large sofa as she tried to place the cracking voice standing over Morgan.

"They just couldn't leave it alone, it's better this way - " A woman murmured.

JJ forced herself not to gasp at the recognition of the UnSub. Quickly dialing Hotch, she left her phone under the couch, knowing that the team would then be privy to the entire conversation. "Patty?" She stood, her hands up lest she startle the _last_ person she would have suspected as their UnSub. "Patty we can talk about this."

"No." The woman shook her head, obviously disturbed. "I can't - I can't do it anymore. You are just like all of the rest of them."

She took a small step forward, hoping to inch her way closer to Patty in an attempt to disarm the woman. "Patty, we're your friends."

"That's why I have to do this." The other woman implored, pointing the gun at Derek's unconscious body. "You don't. You don't understand."

"Patty? Why don't you explain it to me?" JJ suggested, inching her way closer and closer as Patty looked at her incredulously.

"I can't. I - - you wouldn't understand." Patty shook her head, "They crush you. They trap you. You try to be perfect, to make your life perfect and it's just _not._"

"Your family?" JJ asked, grateful that she had thus far managed to get much closer without Patty noticing. "Your kids? Things aren't perfect? Why don't you help me understand?" JJ suggested again.

"And it's better this way. You'll thank me." Patty insisted addressing JJ's cover, "If it can't be perfect at least it can be over. I'm sorry Natalie." She frowned as the gun steadied in her hands.

In the soft gleam of the moonlight JJ saw the other woman's finger twitch toward the trigger, and pure instinct lurched her forward. She lunged, tackling Patty in a hard blow as the gun fired into the darkness. Fighting ferociously, Patty clocked JJ hard in the jaw, stunning her for a moment as her vision swam. But years of growing up with an annoying but overprotective brother combined with years of training allowed JJ to easily overpower the suburban housewife.

Once Patty was immobilized, JJ found herself at Morgan's side instantly. "Derek!" She gasped as blood oozed out from beneath him.

"Mmm." The seasoned profiler moaned. Immediately, JJ checked him over feeling a flood of relief when she found the wound on his upper right shoulder. Pulling down a cloth from where it had been haphazardly discarded on the table and placing it firmly against the wound, she smiled as Derek's eyes shot opened and he cried out in pain. "Welcome back to the party." She forced her tone to remain light despite the worry that still plagued her.

Morgan grunted, obviously in pain despite his best efforts to hide it. "What happened?" He asked, trying to sit up as a wave of dizziness and nausea struck him.

"Hey, lie down." She commanded. "I should ask you the same question."

"I can't..." He closed his eyes in an attempt to force away the painful throbbing of his shoulder and the dull ache from the back of his head. "I don't remember."

"It's fine." JJ soothed. "Though I did single handedly talk down the UnSub and save your life in a matter of minutes." She teased, the smile on her face coming out more like a grimace as she tried to keep up her annoyed facade in an attempt to keep him talking.

Despite his pain, Derek smirked. "Figures. You've always got to upstage me." He pushed himself up again, detesting the feeling of being the weak and vulnerable victim.

Frowning, JJ helped him to a sitting position, keeping her hands pressed firmly against him as he tried to swat away her assistance. "I'm fine." He insisted.

"Get me a medic!" JJ called to the officers who entered tactically has she pushed down on the blood bubbling from Derek's shoulder. "You're full of shit if you say your fine. Derek, you were _shot_."

The team burst through the doors moments later as Derek was being lifted onto a stretcher and wheeled past the agents in the foyer. "Prentiss with Morgan." Hotch barked. "What the hell happened?"

* * *

"I'm fine." Derek bit down as Emily stepped into the ambulence while the paramedic prodded gingerly at the wound on his shoulder.

"Sure you are." She rolled her eyes, familiar with the way most of the men in the BAU refused medical treatment.

Truth be told, if the tables were reversed she'd be pushing just as hard to get out of the hospital.

Not that she'd ever tell Derek that.

Derek groaned as the medic placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. "Seriously, I'm fine. It's a through-and-through." He insisted to the medic who rolled his eyes and continued treating the obstinant federal agent.

"Would you sit down for a second and let the man do his job." Emily chided.

"What do you care?" Derek spat, lifting the mask off his face. "Don't you want to spend time with _Hotch."_ He spat, unable to hide his annoyance. It seemed the lack of sleep and the wound to his shoulder did little to strengthen his resolve.

"Are you kidding me? I'd be glad to never have to be in the same _room_ as Hotch." Emily sighed with relief, forcing herself not to look at Derek Morgan's bare chest.

Morgan's mouth dropped open in surprise, the mask snapping back into place.

Emily snorted at his reaction, her eyes widening in disbelief. "No way, you didn't _actually think_..." She trailed off, not able to give voice to the words because of their pure ridiculousness, "Me and Hotch?" She rolled her eyes. "Come on Derek, you know me better than that." She sat quickly in the small place available next to him.

"I thought I did." He grumbled, snapping out of his shock at her revelation. "But-"

"Come on Derek, Me and Hotch?" She rolled her eyes, "Hell would freeze over before that happened." Sensing his relief, she smiled at his jealousy.

Derek Morgan was _jealous_. Of _Hotch._

Relenting, she decided to give him a break. He had, after all, just been shot. And he was absolutely adorable with the petulant pout he was currently giving her. "Besides, there's somebody else." She explained vaguely.

She nearly grinned at the disappointment that washed over him. "Oh. How long have you and he been...?" He trailed off, not wanting to even think about what Emily and her new flame had been doing together.

He had missed his chance.

It was over.

Time to take it like a man.

"Oh, not long." She said, smiling as she looked at him. "We've been friends for a while, but I think it's time for us to become more."

"Do I know him?" He asked, not wanting to know at all. Because if he knew Prentiss's new love interest, he might be tempted to throw the man through a window.

"I think so." She feigned ambivilance as she watched him squirm slightly.

"Who is it?" He asked, turning away from her so she couldn't catalogue his reaction.

His shoulder hurt, maybe he could focus on that.

"You." She smiled as she kissed him gingerly on the cheek, causing him to snap back toward her in complete shock.

"Me?" He sputtered, not really following.

Her smile grew at his surprise. "Yes, you." Narrowing her gaze, she added, "But if you ever do that again," She gestured toward the wound in his shoulder and growled, "I'm going to kick your ass."

He chuckled. "You and me both Prentiss." He smiled as she took his hand, "You and me both."

* * *

"I can't believe this all happened while I was slumbering like Sleeping Beauty upstairs!" Penelope sighed, coming down the stairs as multiple CSU techs trampled in and out of the home.

"It all happened pretty fast." JJ admitted.

"So it's over." Garcia smiled, flopping next to JJ onto the couch. "And—"

"And what?"

"I just want to know what you're going to do. Will's been—"

JJ held up her hand, desperate not to have to deal with this tonight after everything else. "Penelope—"

Garcia continued despite her friend's protest, "getting ready for the wedding, and I want to know how you're going to break it to him."

JJ sputtered slightly. "Break what to him?" She asked, surprised that her best friend seemed to see straight through her.

"JJ, can I ask you something?" Penelope queried softly, uncharacteristically careful not to trample on her friend's feelings. Seeing JJ look at her curiously, she prodded further "When was the last time you were happy?"

JJ gulped. "I don't see—"

"I can't let you do this to yourself." Garcia continued, "I wanted you to marry Will because I wanted you to have the 'Happily Ever After' storybook ending." She snorted uncharacteristically, "But I forgot that _you _Ms. Jennifer Jareau, are no damsel in distress. You don't want 'Happily Ever After', you want a love you have to fight for."

JJ blinked, not really certain where Penelope was going with this. Of anyone, Garcia had been Will's best ally in the wedding preparations. Blowing out a breath in defeat and thinking she understood what Garcia meant, she smiled trying to hide the emptiness inside her. "You are right, I should be fighting for Will and I too- -"

With Garcia's exasperated eyeroll, JJ fell silent. "Oh you adorable masochist." She smiled, unable to hold back the pure admiration she felt for her very best friend. It was just like JJ to put everyone else before her own needs. But Penelope Garcia wasn't going to let that happen. Not anymore. Not that now her eyes were opened to the way her GumDrop was drowning in the ocean of placating responses. "I can't let you marry Will when we _both _know you'd be happier with a certain someone." Penelope promised seriously, gesturing slightly to the agent standing in the doorway, barking at the techs to quickly do their jobs as accurately as possible.

"You think me and Hotch—" JJ tried to deny her insinuation, but let the words trail off. "You knew?"

"Buttercup, of course I knew." Penelope assured. "This entire thing, try to tell me if you hadn't been partnered with Hotch, you wouldn't have jumped his bones."

"Penelope!" JJ gasped horrified as a blush creeped up her neck.

"Jayje, you've got to do what's best for number one." Garcia pointed at her. "Not me, not Henry, not Will, not even Hotch. You've got to look out for number one, because if you don't, who will?"

JJ sat back, floored for a moment. Penelope was right. If she didn't look out for herself, who would?

As if on cue, her cell vibrated and Will's picture sprang across the display.

Before JJ could answer, Penelope held her arm back. "Remember Jayje. You have to do what's best for number one."

JJ nodded and pressed the green button on her Blackberry, "Hi Will."

_'JJ!'_ Will sighed into the phone, love dripping with each word that came out of his mouth. _'I heard you closed the case. Are you okay?'_

"I'm fine. Derek's probably got a concussion and a wound to his shoulder, but it looks like—"

_'So when are you coming home?' _Will asked excitedly, _'Everything's ready. I'll have to move up the timeframe, but—'_

"Will—" JJ stopped him, sighing as her head felt like it was going to explode. He couldn't deal with this—she didn't want to deal with this.

Not anymore.

_'—that should be no problem.'_ Will barreled over her objection as if she hadn't spoken. _'JJ, I love you, I can't wait for you to be my wife.'_

"That's not going to happen." The words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them, but as soon as the statement was made she felt like the weight of the world had been relieved from her shoulders.

Will fell silent, as if stunned by JJ's comment. _'What was that Sweetheart?' _He asked having clearly heard what she said, but giving her a chance to explain.

"Will," JJ stood, sighing with relief as her future suddenly fell into place.

But it wasn't Will she envisioned waking up to every morning.

Nor was it Morgan, though she gagged at the thought.

But it was the man who was desperately trying to avoid casting worried glances in JJ's direction. The man who was always there for her, who always listened to her concerns.

And respected her.

Hotch was the man she wanted to stand beside, the man she wanted to plan a future with, and the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

"I can't do this anymore. I don't love you. I can't marry you." JJ sighed, her world brightening more and more as the words continued to flow.

_'You can't mean that.'_ Will sputtered, _'I should have given you more time to recover, but—'_

"Will, you're a great man. You are a good father. You deserve someone that loves you as much as you love them, and I'm not that girl."

Will paused for a moment and she could feel his heart crushing over the phone, but she couldn't force herself back on the pedestal he had placed her on. This felt right, it felt good, and there was no going back now. _'If that's how you feel—'_ He choked, _'Call me when you get back and we'll figure something out with Henry.' _He paused, his voice cracking slightly, _'I really did love you JJ'._

"I know." JJ sighed, mentally noting how even his reaction to her breaking up with him was perfect.

He really was perfect.

Just not for her.

"I'll call you later, I've got to go." JJ excused herself.

Will needed to find someone who was perfect too, and like Derek had so artfully put it, JJ was jaded.

She was damaged.

And there was one man who was as damaged as she was.

But did he feel the same way? There was only one way to find out.


	12. Epilogue

**Author's Note:** EPIC TRIUMPH! I have been agonizing how to finish this story because JJ and Hotch just seemed to want to have their little moment in private. Regardless, I made this chapter longer from a one-shot I had written but never posted, so _even_ if you weren't an original reader (all of those may be long-since gone) you should enjoy this fluffy chap. In case you haven't guessed, I'm really trying to shore up some of these stories, so KUDOS TO ME :D.

* * *

Six months later, JJ found herself squished on the small loveseat with Hotch on the other end and Jack squished in between them as rain thundered outside the small home JJ and Hotch shared.

"JJ, why'er they throwin' it?" Young Jack Hotchner asked innocently, silencing the profilers who watched JJ with trepidation at the interruption. "I thought this was _football_, not _throwball."_

They all knew enough not to get between JJ and her football, and despite JJ's recent adoption of Jack Hotchner, each one of them was fairly certain that not even family was exempt from the small woman's wrath.

In fact, Rossi had jokingly mused that the only reason Hotch was able to forget their anniversary last year was because it was on game day.

Of course, he never had the balls to say that to JJ's face.

JJ, whose large 'McNabb' jersey practically dwarfed her, spoke softly out of the side of her mouth without looking away from the screen. "It's part of the game, Sweetie." Glancing over at Hotch, able to take her eyes off the game only because of the convenient 2nd down huddle, she grimaced, "Don't you teach your son anything?"

"Excuse me?" Hotch scoffed. The entire team had been shocked to see their fearless leader clad in a pair of basketball shorts and a simple grey t-shirt. But JJ mocking him—over his football devotion—was something he was entirely unprepared for.

Yet it somehow managed to feel completely natural at the same time. None of them were shocked by the rapid growth of the relationship between JJ and Hotch, but seeing their boss and former media liaison interact so intimately threw all of them.

"Shhh!" JJ admonished as the huddle broke. Glancing down at the little boy beside her, she dropped her voice and explained easily, "See Jack, our team is trying to get the ball past those big mean guys."

"And so they throw it?" Jack whispered, his six year old whisper still as loud as if he had spoken, but Hotch couldn't help but smirk at the little boy's excited effort.

"Yes!" JJ shouted, both answering Jack's question and exclaiming with delight at a completed pass. "Now our team—"

"Our team's the red guys, right?" Jack asked, the look in his eyes plainly conveying that he'd root for whatever team JJ told him to.

"Absolutely—" JJ agreed, wincing as the rushing play only gained a few yards. She looked down at the little boy who was watching the game with fascination and smiled at his adorable attempt to understand. Glancing quickly over at Henry who was busy playing some tickling game with Garcia, she felt a surge of belonging that she had sorely missed since her transfer to the Department of Defense.

It felt nice to belong.

But what felt even nicer was to be a part of something special.

She grinned up at Hotch as he reached out and intertwined his fingers with hers. "Wait!" He sat forward quickly, suddenly realizing the brainwashing that was occurring right under his nose. "Jack, Daddy's rooting for the blue team. Don't you want to cheer for the same team as Daddy?"

"We're the _red_ team, Dad." Jack declared as if it were the most obvious explanation in the world.

The others laughed, knowing too well the debate that would rage if any of them attempted to step in. Truthfully, all of the other FBI Agents were a little terrified of JJ's passion for football. Since JJ's transfer to the Department of Defense, Hotch had worried as he had seen the connections between her and their former friends deteriorate due to busy schedules and a hidden secret that JJ was still keeping between the two of them. When Garcia had woefully explained to Hotch that she believed JJ was avoiding the team, Hotch had jumped at the chance to invite the others somewhere he knew JJ couldn't refuse.

And football was something _everyone_ knew JJ couldn't refuse.

Ergo the love of his life sitting next to his son in the prime TV spot, corrupting his son with promises of a Super Bowl Championship with a failing team.

But for some reason, Hotch couldn't bring himself to care about Jack's traitorous desertion of the best football team in history.

Because the light that danced in JJ's eyes as Jack continued to assault her with questions was something he had truly missed in the last few months as JJ had buried herself in her new job.

"Why's the blue guys throwin' it?" Jack asked. His child mind thought he had figured out the entire game, but the sudden reversal made him question it. "I thought it was our turn"

"Because they took a cheap shot." JJ grumbled at the memory of the last play. "So now, our team tries to keep those big mean blue guys from getting any closer."

"Oh." Jack nodded his understanding.

Hotch almost let out an uncharacteristic chuckle at the matching groan that emerged from both the blonde and his son at the completed pass on the next play.

"Hotch?" Garcia asked, her impatient tone surprising him as she playfully bounced a three year old Henry on her knee. "Do you have any more chips?" She asked cryptically.

He glanced over at the multiple bowls of chips and looked at her skeptically, "I—"

"Oh, you can show me in the kitchen." She interrupted, snatching Henry into her arms and carrying the squirming boy to the kitchen before he could answer.

"I'll come too." Emily stood, nervously biting her lip as if she were waiting for some important event to occur. Hotch was surprised at how seamlessly Emily had managed to return from the dead—literally—and smooth over the hurt and shocked feelings that had arisen from her time in hiding.

"Okay." He smirked as Jack seemed just as enthralled at the broadcasted game as the grown woman at his side.

As soon as they entered the kitchen, he felt Garcia push him forcefully against his own refrigerator. "Alright Mr. Boss-man, I've had enough!"

"Uh, ok?" Hotch replied obliviously. "Prentiss?" He asked, hoping for some help with deflecting Garcia's sudden diatribe.

"Don't look at me." Emily hardened her gaze at him, "I agree with Garcia. Something needed to be done."

"About?" Hotch asked questioningly, absolutely mystified as to what he had done to earn Garcia's wrath.

"JJ!" Penelope urged in a hushed whisper, mindful that the subject of this conversation was no more than thirty feet away.

Hotch rolled his eyes, perfectly aware of Garcia's matchmaking tactics. "I hardly think—"

"Don't even go there." Penelope retorted, uncharacteristically direct with him. Normally, Penelope was slightly cowed by her superior, but today somewhere between Pork-Rinds and Cheetos she had lost all sense of wariness at yelling at her boss. "She still doesn't have a ring on her finger. When are you going to man up and get the balls to propose? I want to throw a wedding!_"_

"Hotch—?" Rossi peaked into the kitchen, surprised that the other man was missing the half-time commentary on the game. Seeing the two women cornering Hotch against the refrigerator, the experienced profiler smirked, "You're finally talking to him?"

"Not you too—" Hotch groaned.

"She's single. You're single." Garcia suggested obviously. "Technically. And this cute little family time would be all the cuter if it was finally official."

He looked over at Prentiss for some type of sympathy but found none. "You guys are ridiculous, you know that, right?" Emily pointed out. "I mean, if you don't do something soon…" She trailed off, not really having any consequence that could back up her threat, but stating it none-the-less.

"And she's hot." Dave added, smirking at the shocked looks the three gave him. "What? Of course I _noticed_, but JJ's off limits unless you don't do anything soon."

"Damn right." Hotch grumbled seriously. "But JJ's off limits to everyone." He growled, pulling out the small box that seemed to be burning a hole in the pocket of his basketball shorts.

Garcia squealed at a level of epic proportions and Emily reacted quickly to clamp her hand down on the Tech's mouth. "Hotch, that's gorgeous, she's going to love it."

"How long have you had it?" Dave queried, well aware that with their current schedule there was no way Hotch would have had time to buy a ring.

Hotch frowned, his cheeks reddening as he shrugged. "About six months."

"And you haven't done it yet?" Garcia cried, aghast at the possibility that all this time she could have been searching for wedding dresses.

"I haven't found the right time." Hotch admitted.

"Found the right time, you've got to be kidding me!" Dave groaned in a hushed whisper. "You _make_ time, what the hell are you waiting for? Here's what you do—"

Hotch looked at the others sternly, hoping that his expression alone might ward off his colleagues unwanted attempts to meddle in his love life. "I don't need your help." He insisted, cutting off Rossi's attempt at offering advice.

"I think you do." Penelope retorted.

Rossi jumped back in, hoping that just maybe his younger protégé would be able to find a happiness that Dave himself had been unable to find. "I'll make you a deal."

"I'm listening." Hotch ground out.

"You're a betting man, so let's make this interesting. If your team wins, we all back off and you get to do this at your own pace."

At Penelope's intensely fierce look of betrayal, Rossi held up his hand before she could rip him to shreds, "_But, _if the Redskins win, we get to call the shots."

"I'm not a teenager." Hotch rolled his eyes. "Nor am I about to let the three of _you_ make important decisions in mine and JJ's marriage—"

"Marriage!" Penelope squealed at his Freudian slip.

"Relationship." Hotch amended, cursing the way Penelope jumped at his poor choice of words.

"Fine." Emily picked up, realizing the game was still going and while JJ might not miss them, Hotch might murder them if they didn't let him get back to his game. "Then if JJ's team wins, you have to propose."

"Or are you too chicken to take the bet?" Rossi goaded.

"I bet he's too chicken." Garcia nodded immediately, quickly agreeing with Rossi in hopes that her expert plan could go forward.

Hotch's face remained impassive though his eyes sparkled with a childlike fire at the affront to his dignity. "I'm not a child Dave, I don't have to take a bet just because you are attempting to manipulate me."

"Because you're chicken? Are you, Aaron Hotchner, _afraid_?" Dave asked, wanting to get this conversation over with so he could get back to the game.

"Fine. You're on." Hotch relented, smirking inwardly at the realization that truly, no matter how this game went down, he was a winner.

Either way, he was going to marry the woman he loved.

* * *

JJ glanced around the room at her former colleagues, appreciating that the air in the room changed dramatically in the last two minutes of the game.

Because the score was tied.

And for some reason, after Penelope pulled Morgan and Reid aside during a time-out, everyone was cheering for her beloved Redskins.

Not that she was complaining.

Everyone groaned when Donovan McNabb seemed to tumble over his own feet, falling just as (or before, in Hotch's eyes) a Cowboy's lineman landed forcefully on top of him.

Well, almost everyone.

JJ cursed furiously under her breath as the quarterback trotted haughtily onto the field. She glanced over at her former boss and current boyfriend, rolling her eyes as he cheered somewhat half-heartedly.

Though Hotch continued to outwardly root for his team, he couldn't help the inward surge of adrenaline at the thought of losing the bet. Groaning and cheering at all the right places, he was fairly certain that he had the rest of the team at least moderately fooled.

But it was crunch time.

Because his team and JJ's were tied.

And as much as he hated losing, this was a bet he wasn't sure he wanted to win.

The entire room erupted in a loud scream of despair as a Cowboys lineman sacked Donavon McNabb, but stopped in shock as the football rose, climbing higher and higher after what appeared to be a Hail Mary Pass with only seconds left to play.

The ball rose, climbing to insurmountable heights as the room stood agape as they waited anxiously while the ball fell back down toward the Redskins' end zone.

"No way." Morgan gasped, not believing what he was seeing.

There, all alone in the end zone a lone Receiver positioned himself just underneath where the ball was about to drop.

JJ's eyes widened in shocked delight, grasping Jack's hand tighter as she waited for the outcome. Jack, unaware of the excitement of the play just watched, glancing back at JJ's fact to gauge his own level of interest.

The ball fell closer and closer to the Receiver, mere inches away as the professional athlete jumped up in the air before everything turned black.

The tension hung in the air as the entire room was simultaneously encased in blackness.

"What?" Garcia cried, leaping out of her chair with a fury that JJ felt all too well, "How could this happen? Fix it!" She insisted.

JJ sat, her arms raised in anticipation, frozen with disbelief that this could really be happening.

The most brilliant play in Redskins' history and she was going to miss it because of a power outage.

Hotch simply blinked at the screen, his hand already subconsciously having reached his pocket before the picture had faded to nothingness.

"That's it?" Emily asked, unable to keep the crisp annoyance out of her voice. "Just like that? No power, game over?"

"This sucks." Rossi agreed, smirking as JJ yanked her phone out and cursed, tossing the electronic device against the wall with a practiced fury that reminded him never to make her angry.

JJ though, didn't seemed to be phased by the destroyed cell phone and in one fell swoop picked up Jack into her arms and barreled out of the front door, racing toward their closest neighbors.

"Where is she—" Hotch went to ask, but stood and followed her out the door.

"The power is out everywhere!" JJ cried, running back toward him, rain drenching both her and Jack in the process.

"Jayje, it will be okay—"

"Okay? Okay?" Her voice rose shrilly and he could almost see her losing control. "How in the world is this okay? The power is _out!_" She insisted.

"Jen—"

"No! This could be the best game of the season." She fumed, and paced frantically as if that might somehow help. "And the _power is out!_"

Hotch frowned, wishing he knew what to say until the small bulge in his right pocket reminded him of something that just might make everything better. He knelt down, taking her hands in his to get her attention, realizing just how perfect this moment was.

"JJ." He reassured her, and his grin broadened as she looked down at him with the football fanaticism slightly dissipating in her eyes. "Do you know how much I love you?"

"Enough to make the power come back on?" She retorted, smiling despite the absolute hole in her stomach at the thought that her beloved Redskins might have tasted sweet victory (or defeat) without her.

"If I could, I would." He chuckled. "After that case in Utah, when I thought you were in love with Morgan and Will, I thought my heart was going to shatter right there."

Her face softened as she knelt down to his eyelevel blissfully unaware of what was happening. Jack scrambled off her lap and ran to jump in several large mud puddles that were forming along the sidewalk, but Hotch took this one moment to focus on the woman he loved more than anything else in this world. "I love you too Aaron." She grinned.

"We've been through a lot, you and I, but the thing that I love the most about you is that I love being around you." He sighed as he pulled her close, his hands tangling themselves in her wet blonde locks. "I love you."

"You make me feel like I can be myself." She admitted, not entirely sure what had brought this on, but emboldened by the spontaneity as she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry I'm a crazy football fan."

"You are _my_ crazy football fan." He corrected, his hand snaking down her tight curves and finding his own pocket to pull out the ring. "And I want to know if you would be willing to make that official."

"Official?" She asked, pulling away curiously while he kept the ring just out of her view.

"Jennifer Jareau, would you make me the happiest man alive, and be my crazy football fan?" He opened the box and held it out to her, aware that in a perfect world JJ would be standing and this would be far more romantic.

But neither of them were perfect.

And for them, this was about as close as perfection could get.

Her grin broadened even further if that were possible and she nearly tackled him with excitement. "Yes! Let's do it!" She cried, kissing him forcefully on the mouth.

He pulled her closer to him, moaning beneath her lips as he felt a rush of pure joy wash over him.

He was just so glad they were now in the right place.

Because right here, right now, with the woman he loved beside him, this was the right place.


End file.
